3-PENNY PRINCESS

A Review of the Cascade Ruffle Dress

2010-07-31T17:50:00.001-04:00

I had mentioned in a recent post how much I have grown to like dresses, particularly strapless jersey varieties. So it should come as no surprise that, upon missing the last several 20 and 30 percent off J.Crew sales, I finally bit the bullet and placed an order during the most recent one, which naturally included another few dresses. I figured, at 30 percent off sale prices, what do I have to lose?

Among the immediate-to-return batch were two Cotton Cady Madeleine Dresses, a cut most unsuited to my body type. I had been hoping to grab one or two more Alexa dresses since catching the first in spring (navy, which I wear constantly), a shape extremely flattering to my hourglass figure. But alas, every time I put one in my cart, it disappeared before I could place the order.

Fortunately, I was able to pounce on the long-watched but never tried Cascade Ruffle Dress which had intrigued me since its debut. It just looked so perfectly slouched in the right places. Not someone normally drawn to slouchy styles, I was enticed by the casual, carefree drape and the muted gray color – a boon for my skin tone.

So, I said, what the heck, it’s only $34.99. Even if it’s not my favorite, I can at least wear it around the house. And so it arrived 2 days later and I shoved it to the corner of the try-on pile underneath a mountain of potential suits and skirts I had hoped would replenish my lately ill-fitting work wardrobe. I had initially tried it on and found the bust to be overwhelmingly tight, with barely enough room to breath – even sans bra. Yet the bodice flowed rather loosely around my hips and body. There was almost a little gap between where it should have hit my bum and where it actually did, leaving a tiny poof. Not so loose that it looked like a sack, but any looser and it might have made me look too voluminous behind.

What to do? This was far from the first strapless dress J.Crew has managed to miss the mark with fit-wise. I mean, what is up with leaving absolutely no room in the bust to breathe, yet leaving entirely too much room in the backside? Who has this body type, exactly? I considered ordering a size up, but then I wondered if the backside would be too loose. Undecided, I slipped it off and left it in a little wrinkled ball, its fate to be determined some other time.

Fast forward 24 hours. Oversleeping this Saturday morning, I was roused no less than 7 times by the cat to find that my husband had already left the house. Unusual as this as, I thought perhaps he had run to the store or, worse, to the historical tour we had bought tickets for the day before that started in about an hour. Jumping into the shower and racing through my grooming rituals, I rushed to find a suitable outfit for the day’s activities: we were scheduled to go on an exclusive tour of some of the hidden spots of George Washington’s vast Mount Vernon Estate, a swell idea that now looked to be in jeopardy if we didn’t leave the house pronto. My husband came back to find me rummaging through the clean pile of clothes on the bed but nothing was jumping out.

The weather had recently taken a most pleasant and unexpected turn for the better; instead of sultry 95-100 degree days with maximum humidity and poor air quality, here we were in the second day of a mild 80-85 degree interlude with low humidity and a nice breeze. Which put me in a dilemma – should I opt for the de rigeur cuffed shorts and tee with sneakers and look like a tourist, or should I represent more graciously in a skirt and blouse? It wasn’t so hot that you could get away with a skimpy tank or tube top, yet I didn’t want to wear too much as there was lots of walking involved across the expansive estate. There was the other slight dilemma of how to hide the fact that I didn’t quite have time to shave my legs…

Since it was sitting there all curled up on the bed, innocuous in its soft gray 100% rayon, I decided to slip on the Cascade Ruffle Dress just to see. To my surprise, it seemed like the perfect outfit to wear on an outdoor tour – I could wear it with espadrilles for comfort and dress it up later with a necklace and cardigan for propriety.

The bust was another issue. Trying to zip it in the back proved somewhat tricky as it kept unzipping itself. My husband finally tightened the top clasp which ended that problem. However, as I coaxed my hair into an unbrushed ponytail and swiped nothing by colored gloss on my makeup-free face (we were now dangerously late), I struggled to inhale the entire ride down to Mount Vernon (which normally takes 20-25 minutes from our house but we managed to fly there in exactly 15 minutes by breaking as many traffic rules as possible).

First of all, there is no room whatsoever for a strapless bra, so don’t even consider it (unless you have a small B or A cup and can sacrifice breathing). But whilst reclining in the drivers seat doing maximum speed on the G.W. Parkway, there is a noticeable lack of flexibility in the upper torso that feels deceptively structured for a jersey dress.

On the other hand, as soon as we arrived and started running the remaining half mile or so to the meeting place, I noticed just how lightweight and breezy the rest of the bodice was. Which was reinforced every time we struggled up one of the many hills or strolled through the various agricultural sections of the estate in the hot afternoon sun. Every time the breeze came around, the dress fluttered ever so gently. The material is very thin, yet the cleverly placed folds hide not only a panty line (because I also didn’t have time to look for a thong) but also deflect attention from a full tummy post-lunch (apres 3 courses).

The verdict? You decide. Here it is IRL.

And with DH:

Here it is as I prepare to enjoy a late lunch:

One nice surprise is that the bust did stretch somewhat. Since the material is thin, perhaps it does adjust to your body somewhat. After we finished our tour and delicious southern-themed lunch at the Mount Vernon Inn Restaurant, we made a detour for our favorite pastry shop where we stopped for coffee and sweets. Even now as I write this, digesting the 3-course lunch and beverages, I am surprisingly comfortable in the breathing and stomach area.

Here is the Polyvore set:

Cascade Ruffle Dress with Magenta, Aqua accents by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

My vote? I give this dress a thumbs-up for ease of movement, versatility, and drape. If you can stretch out the bust area in advance, you might be more comfortable. For $34.99, it’s a must-buy!

DC JCAs Gather for Drinks, Dessert, and Light Shopping

2010-07-18T13:25:00.001-04:00

Our favorite cruise director, Rosa in DC, put together another fabulous evening of cocktails, dining, and shopping at the Tysons Corner J.Crew. The theme: bargain finds of the season. The ladies began the evening at the always delicious Daily Grill in Tysons Galleria where we munched on hot and cold happy hour specials. The Gazpacho was very refreshing as was the Mojito I enjoyed, courtesy of a desire to chill out after a week spent in the 90s.

After discussing the merits of the fall Look Book, the recent finds at Crewlets and the almighty distribution center in Lynchburg, and regular in-store shopping events, the girls made their way to the B & M J.Crew with what seemed like one goal in mind: to clean out the extensive sale section. The good news? No one seemed to go overboard, potentially in anticipation of pre-fall shopping. But more than a few summer sundresses flew off the racks, as well as ruffled flouncy skirts. Clearly, summer is still in session and there are plenty of opportunities left to wear these frocks.

Afterwards – and possibly fueled by a need to re-energize – a few of us hopped over to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and wine. Yours truly could not resist a White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle cheesecake with extra dollops of whipped cream, a treat justified by eating a very light dinner.

Below a photo recap of the lucky ladies, post-shopping. Left to right: Slastena, fshnonmymind, Summerilla, Rosa in DC, and 3-Penny Princess. Also in attendance were Cleo26, Heidi G with her lovely daughter E, and kater.

And a close-up:

Here is my Polyvore of what I wore:

Ode to Impressionist 5: Ivory Frances with Chartreuse + Pearls by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Can’t wait to do it again! Thanks Rosa, for another fabulous gathering.

Happy 4th of July and Summer Essentials

2010-07-03T22:52:00.001-04:00

Chillin and Grillin in Magenta Pique Dress with Silver Accents by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Okay, so I’m not completely back as far as regularity of posts. But at least I’m enjoying weekends again, and something else I’ve missed -- shopping! Lately, I can’t seem to get enough of 3 items: summer dresses, boatneck tees, and all things nautical.

Chocolate Alexa Dress from Office to Happy Hour by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Dresses have been the biggest surprise and addition to my wardrobe as I finally realized (maybe later than all of you) just how easy they make summer dressing. Classic shifts with a defined waist are very flattering to my body type, so these have been a worthwhile investment as they go from office to happy hour to summer functions – and well into fall and spring with a cardigan.

Tomato Dress with Cream and Caramel Accents by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Sultry Second Day of Summer: Office to Drinks by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

But the real surprise is the sudden invasion of strapless dresses and halters – not so long ago completely shunned from my closet. Granted, this is not a practical work solution as I frequently need to lose the jacket/cardigan when spending time outside with clients and feel, well, inappropriate bearing so much skin. As soon as a whiff of weekend enters, however, all I want to do is pull on a strapless number and head out for dinner, drinks, brunch, or just to the store.

Impromptu Date Night: Black, White, and Gold by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

I’m not sure what caused this transformation in taste or the sudden desire to go strapless, but I like the effect. I feel less restrained somehow and more summery. Maybe it’s a subconscious desire to show off an unusual duration of color on my arms, shoulders, and back, unusual in both its perseverance and its arrival in the first place. While I normally content myself with brief episodes of sun during a weekend here or there spent outdoors, I was fortunate to get a head start on summer sun in early May, further enhanced by a good deal of subsequent walking through the city with clients during sunny hours. This has resulted in the persistence of a sunkissed glow and a splattering of freckles that have taken up permanent residence across my back, shoulders, and chest.

My husband seems to be enjoying the dress infestation as well, remarking often that he always thought I looked good in dresses. Which I must confess to using to my advantage as I’ve snuck in more than a few dresses in recent months, like the plum halter knit dress above from Ann Taylor. The color is genius on me and it looks divine with both silver and gold accessories as well as pearls and ivory. I’m also loving the comfy Pique Strapless dress from the J.Crew outlet shown in the top photo (special thanks to jadorethesestores at blogspot for modeling the dress in the photo which I borrowed since this style came out a couple of years ago).

Perhaps another product of my pre-summer excursion to the Florida shores has been a re-discovery of all things nautical, which you may have noticed in my previous post. I say re-discovery because, let’s be honest, nautical has been around for centuries and reappears in stores like clockwork each February as a harbinger of summer to come (or, more likely, a getaway to some resort destination).

Effortless Monday in Navy, White, and Hibiscus Pink by 3-Penny Princess featuring Kate Spade bags

While navy has been prevalent in my wardrobe, well, forever – navy is my black, after all – the specific manifestation of navy in nautical themes has injected a beachy feel into my ensembles. Navy stripes, gold buttons, and accents like ropes and anchors seem so fresh right now. Like a waft of cool ocean breeze penetrating the humid swamp-spawned summers that Washington D.C. is known for. Particularly when paired with white and punctuated by bold splashes of reds, corals, and hot pinks.

First Mate Navy Blazer with Salmon-Red and Pearl-White by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

I was especially inspired by the adorable First Mate blazer I picked up from Anthropologie on sale for about $40 (originally retailed for $128) upon my return from Florida in May. This cheeky jacket comes in a dark navy twill and is embroidered with a red and white grosgrain belt and finished with a gold-toned life preserver clasp. The sleeves come with 3 gold buttons and the lapel are adorned with both a starfish and a seashell brooch (I generally leave off the seashell one). Initially I had a little trouble figuring out how to wear it to work since it's a bit unconventional and is slightly more casual than it appears online. I first paired it with a crisp white skirt and white shell, not wanting to upstage the unique details. Then I discovered that shades of red/rhubarb looked really sharp against it and it also played well with certain carnation and salmon-shade pinks. It looks just as smart on a pencil skirt as it does with jeans and a tank.

First Mate Navy Blazer with Rhubarb and Off White by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Somewhat related to the need for nautical – and possibly an urge to suddenly expose my collarbone – is a newfound obsession with boatneck tees. It started with last spring’s J.Crew Baby Stripe Navy on White tee, which I wore whenever possible. Wanting something that could span the seasons with three-quarter sleeves and a slimming fit, I set out to obtain more.

Keeping it simple in Navy Stripes and Gold by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

The first 3 Perfect-fit Boatneck Tees of this year arrived during a large pre-vacation order, which I justified in two ways: we never go on vacation, and I purchased several items for hubby. Both had the unexpected effect of appeasing him (usually these ploys don’t work as he has long since wised up to my tactics). I wanted to hate them, really, I did, but as soon as they came out of the box, I fell in love with all the colors I ordered: Vintage Orange (predictable), Pale Buff (a favorite for the past year), and a fresh new shade called Light Flamingo.

Florida Here We Come 1 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Florida Here We Come 6 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

As I soon saw how flattering the boatneck shape is to my bustline (my bust is wide and expansive rather than centered and cleavage-forming, so to speak), I couldn’t get enough boatnecks in enough colors. So naturally, when I came across the newest incarnations, the Perfect-fit Stripe Boatneck Tee in white on navy and gray on white, I had to have them. I also had the good fortune of plucking a Ralph Lauren ivory boatneck tee with thin gold stripes and smart nautical buttons along the collarbone from the sale rack at Marshall’s (I swear I just went in to buy soap).

Sunday in Navy Stripe Boatneck with Carnation Pink by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Now, the fit of a flattering boatneck is tricky. I prefer mine long and lean. Fairly close to the body rather than loose and flowy is ideal. On the other hand, a boatneck that’s too fitted at the bust creates a ring of boobage that’s not terribly flattering, sometimes in conjunction with a potbelly following meals. So getting it to cling in the right places is key.

I find that – as with the rest of the Perfect Fit kingdom (and some painter/ringspun varieties) – sizing up does the trick. While I wear the smallest size possible in blouses (which always seem to run big except for the slim-fit button-down shirts), I almost always do best with a Small rather than X-Small in tees. This has been my experience with polos over the years as well. Now, this could be a result of my aforementioned expansive-shaped bust, but if you have more of the cleavage-producing variety, I would imagine that sizing up is equally important if you’re self-conscious. Plus, even with the best laundry habits, it’s rare that something made of cotton doesn’t eventually shrink, even just a little.

Anyway, I’m excited to see more boatneck sweaters and hope this is a trend that continues. As for dresses, I fully intend to populate my closet with more and get as much wear out of them as possible into the fall.

I wish you all a happy and fun 4th of July and a swell rest of the summer!

P.S. I should probably add that I have yet to find anyone who does boatneck/bateau better than J.Crew. I grudgingly accept this because I’ve tried less pricey alternatives (and also more pricey ones) but always come back to the crew. It’s that perfect balance of long and lean that I just can’t find anywhere else. So I’ll keep buying them if they keep making them!

Riverside Brunch and Shopping with JCAs

2010-05-30T20:35:00.001-04:00

On this lovely pre-summer weekend, a small contingency of D.C. Aficionadas gathered for a picturesque Sunday brunch, thanks to the planning efforts of Rosa in DC. The ladies sipped marvelous mimosas and enjoyed a divine seafood-themed menu while overlooking the scenic Potomac River at Old Town Alexandria’s famed Chart House restaurant. Present were Cleo26, Drewablank, kater, Rosa in DC (the organizer), and myself.

After our delish dining experience -- during which much discussion was made about the good old days of 2007-2008 in J.Crew’s history and the questionable trends that seem to be overtaking its future – we strolled through historic Old Town to my favorite consignment boutique, Mint Condition. Among the finds there were a navy metallic Mica mini (lucky for Rosa in DC), a dramatic Missoni-esque wrap dress that sizzled on Drewablank, and a sharp red Francie skirt that we convinced Cleo26 to take home (which we know she’ll thank us for).

Here we are on the waterfront just outside the Chart House restaurant post-brunch. Left to right: Cleo26, Drewablank, Rosa in DC, and 3-Penny Princess (kater is taking the photo).

And here’s a close-up:

In case you’re wondering what I’m wearing, here’s the Polyvore set. I can’t find a photo of this exact top from a few years ago, but it’s close enough.

Nautical Riverside Brunch + Shopping with JCAs by 3-Penny Princess featuring Coach bags

What a fabulous way to spend the day before Memorial Day, as we gear up for the summer BBQ season and vacations. Thank you, Rosa, for the wonderful idea. And thank you, ladies, for making it a lovely afternoon! Happy Memorial Day to everyone and happy summer!

A Retreat in the Sunshine State and Welcoming Summer

2010-05-23T15:09:00.001-04:00

After being buried in a year’s worth of hard work and crazy hours, the hubby and I decided to take a well-deserved vacay from the hustle and bustle of D.C. and relax in the Sunshine State a couple of weeks ago. And boy was our timing impeccable! For probably the first time ever, we took a 9-day trip and managed to enjoy all 9 beautiful, sunny, warm, and perfect days.

Every single day in Florida was in the high 80s with no humidity, no rain, and no ominous clouds. The beach was idyllic, the water was calm and blue-green, and the breeze was just right. Which we learned was in stark contrast to the chilly, rainy, and dark weather that we left all our friends in. Unfortunately, we also returned to some of it, but at least I had a decent tan to show for our 9 days. So now, I can finally wear short shorts and summer dresses without making people wince.

Here are some recaps:

Need I say more?

Why you shouldn’t feed the gators:

This little one was swimming right in the pond near the house.

Shopping (of course) on the picturesque St. Armand’s Circle.

Squeezing in a little culture at the Ringling Museum, which has an impressive collection of European paintings from the last millennium.

The last picture is of me with my aunt, who unexpectedly visited while we were down there. What a wonderful treat!

Here are some more sets inspired by the laid-back beach lifestyle that we would all like to enjoy but can only dream about:

Florida Here We Come 1 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

I’d like to point out that J.Crew still loves me enough to send me gifts from time to time, like the cute tote bag above which I took to the beach every day.

Florida Here We Come 2 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Florida Here We Come 3 by 3-Penny Princess featuring Kate Spade jewelry

Florida Here We Come 10 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Florida Here We Come 14 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Florida Here We Come 13 by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Not wanting to leave it all behind completely, I’m hoping to channel a slightly more “resort” vibe in my work wear this summer:

The Deconstructed Summer Suit by 3-Penny Princess featuring Coach bags

Champagne and Papaya with Pearls and Metallic by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Celebrating Summer in a Crisp White Suit with Shocking Pink by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Lemon and Ice from Office to Happy Hour by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

I can’t think of a better way to welcome the summer season and embrace another year of business success. Here’s to happy upcoming Memorial Day holiday for all of you and a fabulous start to summer!

Winter Catalogs: Overdue Thoughts

2010-05-23T14:13:00.001-04:00

The following is the post I had been planning to publish in February during the monumental blizzard that buried everyone in the D.C. area:

I've been really really good for the past few months. No shopping whatsoever. Not even browsing or window stalking. Since I paid off my credit cards at the end of last year -- every last one of them -- I've been committed to starting with a clean state. And so far it's been mostly successful. I'm even earning a steady (though modest) clothing allowance from selling my clothes, shoes, and bags at my favorite Old Town consignment boutique, Mint Condition -- which by the way is brimming with J.Crew pieces in every size. Actually, I like it better than the J.Crew stores these days as Mint Condition has all the oldies but goodies that have long since disappeared from Jenna’s imagination.

The January J.Crew catalogue was most helpful with my mission to not spend a dime. Rather than spawning an evening of salivating online over a bevy of irresistible new pieces I didn't really need shot in locales I couldn't afford to get to, it instead launched an interesting diversion I enjoyed with my husband called "Guess What the Model Is Thinking?" A game best played with a pen and some mild sarcasm. I might add that this particular model is highly expressive and therefore provided excellent fodder for our imaginations. Let me illustrate.

For the February catalogue, I was pleased to see that J.Crew returned to supporting the travel industry with an interesting trip to Portugal (which I'd like to point out has a most refreshing white wine called Vinho Verde -- very nice with green olives). However, I’m concerned – okay, extremely concerned – about where Jenna is taking us.

Alexis summed it up perfectly in her February 4th post:

"I love the Crewlade. I really do. It's delicious and I could drink it all day. {burp!} That image of the Waterfloral Pastiche Delphinia Gown ($650.00) paired with the white jacket is scrumptious. With that said, is it just me or some of the styles are c-r-a-z-y?!?

I mean paint splattered overalls with a dressy black jacket? Really? And what about look No. 11 that features the Beach Chambray Ruffled Vest ($75.00)— why is she wearing rubber rainboots with no pants. No pants! (Incidentally, did anyone else think of the scene from the first Bridget Jones' movie where Bridget runs out of her building with no pants on?) ;)"

Remember when we were chomping at the bit to get our hands on the fabulous new pieces in each catalog? Admittedly a hazy memory, but one that I wouldn’t mind revisiting. And soon, before I stop drinking the Crewlade completely.

Greetings from Oblivion

2010-05-23T13:45:00.001-04:00

To all those who have been kind enough to inquire about my whereabouts and whether I am in fact in the present dimension, I would like to say thank you for asking! An emphatic “yes” to the above and some updates to follow.

First, I have successfully survived my first full year of launching a new business (a hearty round of applause please). Second, my business has now grown to include 2 more associates. What are we doing? We are living the retail dream, my friends. We help stores, restaurants, and other businesses open by getting them into the best spaces in town and by helping them launch. We are even working with small local chainlets and growing franchises to open more stores. A big accomplishment in this economy, no doubt. And proof that you can follow your dream – whether your dream is to bake cupcakes or sell perfumes or make your own clothing line.

Let’s revisit this time last year, when I was preparing for the career shift by buying a new work wardrobe:

Needless to say, I’ve added many more outfits to my collection. Here are some Polyvore sets from the past year:

Smashing in Black & White for Work and Cocktails by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Business Networking in Bubblegum Pink and Cream with Lots of Pearls+Metallics by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Rooftop Business Happy Hour in Shocking Pink and Charcoal by 3-Penny Princess featuring Kate Spade bags

Papaya Suit with Champagne and Gray Accents by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Feeling Nautical in Navy and White... by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Rhubarb Andrea with Snow Leopard, Gold, and Caramel Notes by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Caramel & Cream for fall, winter, spring by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Celebrating Spring in the 50s in olives and honeys by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Workday to Holiday in Berry/Orchid and BW Tweed by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

So you see? I’m not only alive and well, I’ve also been doing lots of shopping! Granted, it took me a while to come up for air, but I’m happy to report that the creative juices are flowing again and I’m finding the time to finally express them.

More fun to follow, including some overdue Crew gatherings, product reviews, and a little harmless jest.

Tootles, and looking forward to being back in the world of the living!

Tips for the Gift Challenged and Some Holiday Resistance...

2009-12-09T00:04:00.006-05:00

As we enter the 2nd week of December, the pressure starts to build to complete your holiday purchases, get them shipped on time (or wrapped on time), and make it to all those holiday functions. Unless you're a master procrastinator like me, in which case the pressure is on to simply start: start shopping for presents, get a tree, drag the Christmas boxes full of decorations down from the attic, get into the holiday spirit, etc. No doubt many of you took full advantage of Black Friday and Cyber Monday snag some serious bargains.

If you're like me, however, you're really dreading holiday shopping this year. I'm not even motivated to go out and return stuff, let alone start browsing for new buyables (for me or otherwise). Part of it is a massive guilt trip that has built up from months of over-spending, evidence of which is now staring me rudely in the face on my credit card bill -- including my J.Crew bill which I'm forced to pay today.

Another part of it though is an overwhelming desire to simplify this season and rebel against all "necessary" holiday duties. I've been so insanely busy (as you've already guessed from my long absence and sporadic posts) for the last 6 months, it's all I can do to eat and sleep enough these days. I actually took 2 entire days off for Thanksgiving. The first in months. I didn't check my work emails and I didn't even feel bad about it.

Instead, I felt a sudden urge to completely clean out my room and overhaul the contents of my entire closet, which I re-organized and effectively re-built. In truth, I was kind of forced to do this as my supposed-to-be-temporary Ikea garment rack that I had bought in a pinch 4 years ago -- which turned into a full-time open wardrobe for the majority of my work clothes -- finally breathed its last and dramatically collapsed in slow motion all over my bedroom floor. Mind you, I tried to resuscitate it twice by tightening the screws and uncurving the metal support bar that had warped profusely from years of abuse it was clearly not intended for.

But after the 3rd yelp I uttered in protest from my lower back, my husband came running in and literally dragged me away from the contraption, which he then cleared off and unhinged for good. It didn't help that it crashed onto several valuable pairs of recently purchased J.Crew heels (courtesy of all the recent discounts) which had now taken up permanent residence in 3 neat rows on the floor in front of said late garment rack (may it rest in peace).

Anyway, I spent the rest of Thanksgiving evening reorganizing, cleaning out, and making better use of the storage space that was still intact. Which continued into the following morning and finally concluded when I cleared out an entire storage shelf and proceeded to line up every pair of the floor-dwelling heels so they would no longer be a trip hazard. I even created a new shelf above the closet where I finally shoved all my work totes that had been lounging for 6 months on the guest bed. A week later, I purged another 4 shopping bags of stuff and brought the whole compilation to my favorite consignment store, Mint Condition Boutique (which, by the way, sells boatloads of the cutest stuff on earth, including lots of J.Crew pieces).

And while I have been admittedly productive in the last 2 weeks, please understand that -- amidst the weekly household chores and cleaning -- I simply don't have time to play domestic goddess these days aside from a few hours a month that I accidentally get due to a cancellation or lucky scheduling. Which incidentally happened today, providing me with an unexpected opportunity to catch up for coffee with dinagideon (see her post)... but I digress.

That's why I decided this year that I wouldn't -- *gasp* -- send out holiday cards. Before you scold me for lack of grace and proper etiquette, I would like to say in my defense that, each year for the past 8, I've bought, hand-written, addressed, stamped, sealed, and mailed no less than 80 cards each December. Which is of course tacked on to the holiday shopping duty that falls almost exclusively on me, plus the decorating, planning, and family dinner preparations that befall me as well. In the past, I couldn't really say no because DH was working multiple contracts and I was in a "slow time" come mid-December. But this year, with business still in full swing and clients in a rush to complete their agendas before the end of the year, well, I just don't have the time, and I frankly don't care what the domestic goddesses think about it.

Which brings me to the topic at hand. If there's one holiday duty you can't get out of, it's buying presents. Well, some people can get out of it (read: many husbands of dear readers, mine included). But if you're not spending the time dreaming up gift lists, hunting for parking at stores, wading through crowds, standing in line, toting heavy shopping bags, and rushing to wrap it all up in time, then you're at least spending the money for someone else to do it. And seeing as how time is money, I highly recommend either shopping online and having it all delivered to your doorstep (or, better yet, someone else's doorstep) or convincing someone else to take the whole shebang off your shoulders.

If you are opting for the first course of action, online shopping, this definitely spares you the fun of many of the above tribulations (plus the gag-inducing holiday soundtracks found in most stores this time of year - unless you're into that). Even so, online shopping can be almost as daunting as mall hopping. In fact, it can be even more daunting, as there are hundreds of potential gift and clothing sites to choose from. Where do you start? And what do you get for every person on your annually-increasing list? (Did you remember the babysitter? How about the person who takes care of your yard? Don't forget your kids' Tae Kwan Do teachers!)

Fortunately, help is here for both options. For those in the first camp who take the more efficient yet procrastination-inducing route of cyber shopping, my friend Cathy Phillips (who happens to be a professional shopper) thoughtfully put together a list of interesting and affordable sites that will please all genders, ages, and personalities. Because isn't it a yearly challenge to wow the seemingly unwowable people on your list?

Take my folks, for example. My mom, who shops up a storm herself, is always one step ahead of me in the new ideas department. She's probably already seen this gadget, that line of Italian soaps, or this pair of shoes on sale. And my dad, well, his perennial answer to the question of "what's on your list?" is "honey, I have everything I want. I don't need anything!" Which inevitably means racking my brain for the most creative yet not-too-expensive thing that is both interesting and easy to ship to Florida. And since said father is already the lucky recipient of the aforementioned super-shopper mom, I have even less options in the "interesting gifts for the person who has everything" department.

Cathy, who actually shops for a living (unlike many of us who think we do), also publishes a blog along with a fun e-newsletter full of style tips, news, and helpful ideas. Her latest e-newsletter features "Your Online Guide to Unique Gifts." And sure, a lot of people talk about where to get stuff "on a budget", but actually finding cool, likeable, and shippable stuff on said budget -- for all genders and ages -- is a whole other story.

For those in the second camp who are stressed beyond belief, busy with work/life, or absolutely despise shopping (or shopping during the holidays, anyway), Cathy offers an even better solution: Let her do everything. And I mean everything. Why? Because she's a personal shopper, and that's what personal shoppers do! Here's how it works: 1) Tell her who to buy for and what they're like, 2) Let her buy everything, 3) Let her wrap everything and deliver it to you, 4) Take all the credit, and 5) Actually enjoy the holidays for a change! So if you're in Northern Virginia (or D.C.), get in touch with Cathy and find out how she can take this entire massive burden off your shoulder. The time and sanity saved is worth the expense if you can afford it.

And for those who fully intend to buy everything themselves, below is a list of some unique gift sites that Cathy recommends. But hurry! The last day to ship for Christmas via FedEx Ground is Thursday, Dec. 17th and via FedEx Express it's Wednesday, Dec. 23rd. The week of December 14th is the busiest week of the year, so consider shipping next week to avoid the rush! Without further ado, here is Cathy's wisdom to help you shop for the unshoppable:

"Etsy.com. If you haven't been sucked into Etsy yet, now's your chance. As "your place to buy and sell all things handmade" it's like an ebay for unique, handmade gifts. This site has so many wonderful things it can become a little overwhelming so make sure you sign up for an account where you can bookmark things you love and organize the pages of your favorite vendors easily.

WhatIsBlik.com. A perfect gift for a college student in a dorm room or a twenty-something in a rented apartment, this website sells self-adhesive, removable wall graphics. I would put this bird in my living room. They've now also teamed up with Threadless.com (another great place to look for gifts, they sell unique t-shirts) so you can vote on new designs as well.

GelaSkins.com and SkinIt.com. Both of these sites carry art prints that you can use to decorate your iPhone, laptop, iPod, and more for that extra bit of indulgent style. I was turned onto these when I met a woman with this peacock design on her laptop and I just had to find out where she got it.

Oompa.com. This website is a great source for no frills baby toys. You can shop by category and age. My nephew might be receiving something from this adorable website.

Francescas.com. One of my favorite boutiques, I'm so glad you can shop online because we don't have one in the DC area. This is a great source for unique statement jewelry at a great price. The earrings pictured above are from this site for only $12!

TenThousandVillages.com. A source of fair trade jewelry, home decor and gifts from Africa, Asia and Latin America, you're sure to find a unique hostess gift for the holidays.

DylansCandyBar.com. A great gift for a distant relative or hostess. There are tons of treats and goodies, a good place to look for stocking stuffers as well. (Fun fact: this website is owned by Ralph Lauren's daughter, Dylan.)

FredFlare.com. This is a great source for gifts for the teenager on your list or just the young at heart who want something funky.

Flight001.com. For the traveler on your list. Pick up travel accessories and in-flight entertainment for men, women and children.

Delight.com. As the name alludes, this site is full of delightful little things you never knew you even wanted. I die for these animal carved wood bottle openers.

SeeJaneWork.com. Great gifts for your coworkers."

Postscript:
Okay, if DH can please climb up into the attic and bring down the Christmas boxes, then maybe, just maybe I can be compelled to at least dig out last year's remains of assorted holiday cards and send out a dozen... No promises though!

Hello Again and Surprise! A JCA Get-Together

2009-11-19T21:31:00.023-05:00

My sincerest and biggest apologies to all for disappearing -- again! For anyone who may be wondering what in the world happened to the 3-Penny Princess, I'm happy to report that I'm not dead (yet). I haven't been kidnapped or marooned on some deserted island. And thankfully, despite numerous exposures, I have not fallen victim to the H1-N1 epidemic.

No, I've just been insanely and massively sidelined by work. Which is amazing, because it means that my business is booming! The good news is, I'm hopefully in the process of expanding (read: adding staff) which should add a little more breathing room to my jam-packed weekly schedule. Aside from the obvious benefits of providing slightly more opportunities to shop, it could also mean a return to (semi-regular) blogging. So that will be a welcome change!

The other good news is that the ever-social D.C. JCAs were able to put aside their busy work schedules and kids' activities for a wonderful day of shopping and lunch. Hosted by the gracious and attentive associates of J.Crew Pentagon City, we enjoyed a rare opportunity to shop in peace and quiet while checking out the new collection. The divine breakfast spread was most appreciated!

Lugging more than a few overflowing shopping bags, the ladies strolled out to lunch during what turned into an unseasonably warm day. We savored various mezze and wines at the Pentagon City outpost of Lebanese Taverna while catching up on life, work, and of course, our shopping conquests.

Among the JCAs present were Dinagideon, HeidiG, Cleo26, Summerilla, Rosa in DC (who I might add rocked the equestrian flat boots look with last year's fuschia Lexington jacket), and myself. Thanks to Summerilla for snapping the below post-lunch shots.

Also, an overdue congratulations to Slastena who wasn't able to join us due to a much more momentous occasion: the birth of her second son! Best wishes to her and her growing family during this exciting time! And watch out, crewcuts - now there are 2 instead of 1 reason to make more cute stuff.

The day was such a welcome break and a nice way to catch up with each other. I look forward to more fabulous get-togethers!

Ooh La La! The JCAs Go to Brunch Parisian Style...

2009-09-20T16:05:00.010-04:00

Yesterday, a tres magnifique brunch was enjoyed by 7 lovely JCA ladies. Planned by the alluring Rosa -- who also organized last month's uber-elegant luncheon at the Occidental Grill following Cleo26's unforgettable White House tour -- yesterday's brunch was held at Le Chat Noir, a charming French bistro set in Washington, D.C.'s fashionable Friendship Heights neighborhood.

The ladies sipped mimosas while dining on such delicacies as escargots, mussels, soupe a l'oignon, and a savory selection of meat and dessert crepes. Everyone looked ultra chic in their ensembles. But most agreed that Cleo26 stole the show in her stunning rendition of the Veruschka dress from the February '08 collection.

And speaking of Cleo, she was also the well-deserving recipient of a J.Crew gift card -- a thank you for her stellar planning and efforts to make the White House tour a smashing success. Don't worry Cleo, we're sure you'll find some worthy items to spend it on!

Post-brunch shopping was a must (and even pre-brunch shopping for some lucky gals!), so we made haste to the Friendship Heights J.Crew to check out the latest fall offerings. Yours truly abstained from buying anything, however, in anticipation of the upcoming pre-holiday/winter rollout private shopping event (read: 20% off!) to be held in early November. Stay tuned for more details on that...

A big thanks for Rosa for another splendid lunch gathering and, as always, an excuse to shop en masse. Here we are left to right: HeidiG, 3PP, Drewablank, Slastena, Rosa, Cleo26, and Kat.

I look forward to more fabulous JCA outings with you girls!

JCAs Shop Michelle O's Closet at the White House!

2009-09-06T12:19:00.008-04:00

Well, not exactly... But did that get your attention?

Here's what did happen. A few lucky Washington, D.C. area JCAs became major VIPs for a day as we took an unforgettable trip to... the White House!

Sure, any tourist can gaze upon the lawn of the White House and marvel at this significant national landmark. And some fortunate folks can even get invited to tour the East Wing, the site of numerous elegantly appointed reception halls, tea parlours, and ballrooms where important social gatherings and affairs of state have occurred over the centuries.

But a select few -- the truly lucky and well-connected among us -- will ever have a chance to tour the inner sanctum: the West Wing. The Situation Room. The Oval Office. The place where all the real action happens. And not just on TV.

That's exactly where we were graciously invited last Saturday by none other than Cleo26, a longtime Aficionada and organizer extraordinaire. In attendance were Cleo26, dinagideon, Slastena, Rosa, Kelly, and myself. Thanks to Cleo's persistence and diligent planning efforts (over the whole summer, mind you) -- not to mention serious connections -- we were able to take an exclusive tour of the East and West Wings of the White House. We even got to study the details of the furniture in the Oval Office. And, did you know that those strapping Secret Service lads that roam the White House are not only strikingly handsome but extremely knowledgeable? They provided us with a thorough review of the art and historic specimens that decorated the Oval Office and beyond.

Plus, they were nice enough to take our pictures! Here, the Aficionadas following our East Wing Tour:

And some close-ups:

Here we are after our West Wing Tour:

We also got to tour the famous press room where the Prez is often seen enlightening the general public on the intricacies of policy, politics, and international affairs. Interestingly, this frequently filmed and heavily trafficked room is actually much smaller than it appears. Even more interesting is to walk through the aisles and read the inscriptions at each seat which specify where the invited correspondents sit. You can really tell which media outlets are important and who gets relegated to the back row. Notably missing from the hallowed hall: a J.Crew Aficionada reporter seat. We'll have to write the First Lady and remedy that!

Here we are orating from the press room podium. Why yes, those are our press passes for the day!

And speaking of the First Lady, a number of us seriously considered sprinting off from the designated tour and making a beeline for Ms. O's closet. She would understand, we just know it!

But that's not all! As if a private tour of the White House wasn't enough to impress even the most jaded Washingtonians among us -- including almost-native dinagideon, and yours truly, a 20-year veteran of the Washington scene -- a red-carpet lunch at the Occidental Grill put this fairytale day over the top. A hallmark of the Washington political and social scene since 1906, this luxurious dining and drinking destination is located one-and-a-half blocks from the White House and is next to the prominent (and equally lush) Willard Hotel.

As luck would have it, they were in the midst of D.C. Restaurant Week, an annual extravaganza of where the area's finest food spots offer specially priced menus to sample their unique cuisine. The mouthwatering lunch menu at the Occidental included an out-of-this world starter, entree, and dessert for just $20.99. We enjoyed such delightful delicacies as "Smoked Trout Filet with a Salad of Upland Cress, Apples and Jicama Served with Cider Mustard Vinaigrette," "Chilled Nalls Farm Melon Soup with Diced Strawberries a Touch of Midori Cream and a Sprig of Mint," "Cold Poached Salmon with White Gazpacho, Halved Heirloom Cherry Tomatoes and Bell Pepper Relish," "Grilled Marinated Chicken Paillard Served with Frisee and Radicchio Salad, Beech Mushrooms and Zucchini - Basil Sauce," and "Warm Valrohna Chocolate Soufflé Cake with Bitter Sweet Chocolate Sorbet and Grand Marnier Sauce." Yum! Other goodies not to be missed? The "Goulart Sparkling Mojito" with muddled lime, fresh mint, Bacardi rum & simple syrup topped with Goulart rose sparkling Cava, and the “Pennsylvania Avenue” Punch , their summer time hit composed of Pyrat rum with a mixture of fruit juices & Chambord. Oh, and the exceptional service.

A big thanks to Rosa for organizing the unforgettable luncheon at the Occidental. Here we are savoring dessert following our spectacular meals:

All the ladies looked supremely elegant in their J.Crew ensembles. Despite the overwhelming humidity that embraces the swamp-turned-nation's capital each August (so please pardon my hair), we managed to channel chic sophistication and ladylike charm which evidently turned heads everywhere we strolled. Had Ms. O herself been in town, we're certain she would have joined us for a libation and maybe a riveting discourse over the merits of this season's pencil skirts and ruffled blouses. But alas, maybe next time....

Thank you again to the divine Ms. Cleo, and to all the ladies that made this a truly memorable day!

Updates:

Check out Slastena's elegant recap of our swell White House adventure along with her photos. What a pretty ensemble! Always chic in her structured jackets, she totally rocked last year's Tulip jacket. That color looks like it was made for her!

Not to be outdone, dinagideon posted a stellar rendition of our daytrip which includes a review of the Twist-Sash dress that made her look positively ethereal! Her charming outfit, topped with a smart navy ruffled jacket and accentuated by polished Cole Haan Air Carma navy pumps, made her the belle of the ball. The real showstopper was her Banana Republic floral statement necklace - so fabulous!

Thanks again for a lovely and unforgettable adventure!

J.Crew Aficionada Private Shopping Event Recap

2009-08-30T16:45:00.004-04:00

A big thanks to all of you who joined us for the 2nd J.Crew Aficionada Private Shopping Session! The event, held in J.Crew Tysons Galleria, drew many of the region's best-dressed girls (and boys). With over 60 RSVPs on evite, the store buzzed with lucky shoppers eager to get their hands on fall's newest pieces. Everyone shopped till they dropped. The best part? We received a 20% discount on all the hottest fall items!

A big shout out and thank you to Val and the Tysons Galleria store for hosting us for this wonderful event and even provided much-needed breakfast treats!

If you were one of the lucky shoppers who attended, please send me your photos to contact@3pennyprincess.com or provide a link to your blog post covering the shopping event. Here are my (only 2) photos:

Me (3-Penny Princess) with Dinagideon and Drewablank:

And a small group shot with (left to right) Summerilla, HeidiG, 3-Penny Princess, AnneG (the co-host), Kelly, Kate, Dinagideon and (hidden) her aspiring lil' Crewcuts Aficionado.

Finally, Some Blog Updates...

2009-08-30T16:25:00.002-04:00

To all my dear readers who have wondered where I've gone - my sincere apologies!

Between travel and mountains of work, I just haven't had any time to post! Or, read all of your wonderful posts! Please accept my apologies again for not being around.

Now, on to the social updates in the next posts.

Calling All Jewelry Connoisseurs... Diana P's 1st Private Trunk Show Aug.22-23

2009-07-26T13:13:00.025-04:00

Please join us for the first-ever private trunk show at the home of Diana P. of Papazian Jewelry Designs! Those of you who have attended her previous jewelry events or who are familiar with her work will get a chance to be VIPs at her very first in-home show. Come preview her latest jewelry creations, including summer and fall items. Her complete collection will be on display both Saturday and Sunday, August 22 and 23 from 12:00 to 5:00 PM.

Here are some of Diana's recent designs:

And here are some of her pieces in action:

Champagne, wine, light hors d'oeuvres, and desserts will be served. Guests will also receive fabulous swag bags filled with treats and have an opportunity to win some beautiful, unique pieces.

The icing on the cake: receive a 10% discount off all purchases!

Come by anytime between 12:00 and 5:00 on Saturday or Sunday, August 22 or 23.

Evites have been sent out, so be sure to check your email. Please RSVP for the event so we know how many people to expect. If you would like to join us but have not received an evite, please leave a comment here or email me at contact@3pennyprincess.com. Friends and family are also welcome , but please send me their names and email addresses so we can send them an evite.

We look forward to seeing you at the trunk show!

About Diana P.
Diana Papazian of Papazian Jewelry Design is an accomplished artist and jewelry designer whose works are featured in specialty shops across Northern Virginia and online. Hailing originally from Armenia, Diana has been creating jewelry for hip Washingtonians since 2006. Her unique designs meld artistic whimsy with an eye for exquisite detail. Using such diverse materials as semiprecious gemstones, Austrian Swarovski(R) crystal, handmade glass beads, vintage flower clasps, and metals, she crafts one-of-a-kind pieces for a variety of occasions.

Her costume jewelry collection is one of the most popular at local boutiques while her bridal and fine jewelry pieces have adorned many of Washington's most stylish girls-about-town. She also produces custom designs for clients' specific needs.

Her work has received acclaim in the Washington Post Express and VivaLaModa online magazine. She has also been featured in various fashion/shopping blogs including 3PennyPrincess, Blog About All and Nothing at All, Sum Sunshine, and My Superfluities.

Calling All Washington, D.C. Area J.Crew Aficionadas... Pre-Fall Private Shopping Event!

2009-07-18T18:47:00.015-04:00

AnneG and 3-Penny Princess cordially invite you to another exclusive J.Crew Aficionada shopping event - this time at J.Crew in Tysons Galleria on Sunday, August 23. Come preview the beautiful fall line arriving in the store and be the first to glimpse the fabulous new shoes and accessories. If the Fall lookbook is any indication of the gorgeous goodies to come, you won't want to miss this chance to check out the 2nd fall rollout - before anyone else!

The event starts at 10:00 AM and will end at noon. During this time, the store will be closed to the public so that we can enjoy uninterrupted shopping and personal attention from the store's associates.

The best part: receive 20% off a $125 purchase! This is your chance to load up on exciting new fall items before they run out while enjoying a discount.

J.Crew is located near Macy's on the lower level. Parking is free in the covered and open parking lots, but be sure to get there early before the rest of the mall shoppers! Although Tysons Galleria is not accessible by Metro, we can arrange transportation to and from the West Falls Church Metro station. We may also be able to pick up and drop off people at other area Metro stations. Please let us know if you plan to take Metro and will need a ride to and from the event.

After you've shopped till you dropped and worked up an appetite, we will have lunch at a nearby restaurant. The lunch location will be determined closer to the date.

Evites have been sent out, so be sure to check your email. Please RSVP for the event so we know how many people to expect. If you would like to join us but have not received an evite, please leave a comment here or email me at contact@3pennyprincess.com. Your friends are welcome too, but please send me their names and email addresses so we can send them an evite.

Also, let us know if you're interested in having lunch afterwards in the Tysons area. We welcome suggestions for lunch venues, so feel free to leave comments or take the evite poll to give us your ideas.

We look forward to shopping with you on August 23rd!

~AnneG and 3-Penny Princess

Here are the event details:

Date: Sunday, August 23
Time: 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM
Location: J.Crew Tysons Galleria
Address: 2001 International Drive

McLean, VA 22102

Getting Down to Business in Pencil Skirts, Shirts, and Heels

2009-07-08T10:59:00.033-04:00

Sorry I've been away for a while! Work took over my life for a few weeks and left me little time for anything fun. But now I'm back and have lots to share. So let's get down to business - business fashion, that is.

I decided to overhaul my work wardrobe a bit. My new additions? Pencil skirts, button-down dress shirts, a sexy "power suit", new belts, a couple of bags, and some lovely new heels. Yes, you can say that I went a bit overboard. But somehow, I prefer to see it as an investment in my career (and therefore feel far less guilty). My husband did not quite agree and has now banned me from J.Crew and eBay, including blocking these sites from my computer... But back to the topic at hand.

Here are some of my new acquisitions:

And here are some of my older work essentials that I mixed them up with:

My hubby was working late one night, so I decided to use the time productively to put on a little fashion show with my new work clothes. I created several outfits to see how many I could mix and match with a few basic pieces. I apologize in advance for the poor photo quality - these were taken at night in front of a (dusty) mirror without a flash.

What do you think? Please comment on your likes, dislikes, and favorites in the photos that follow.

First up: The Cotton-silk Poplin Solid Perfect Shirt in Fresh Orange, the Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt in Bronzed Twig, the Joley Tortoise Peep Toes, and the Cherry-blossom Necklace in Shadow.

I love love love the Joley Tortoise Peep Toes! They are not only incredibly adorable, but they are also unbelievably comfortable! The patent leather is so soft and flexible (unlike many patent leathers from other brands), and though I attempted to injure it several times (accidentally) with the sharp point of my heel, it never scratched. I have the same good fortune with my Cate Patent Slingbacks (also shown) which are simply indestructible.

At first I wasn't sure if I could justify shelling out full price for yet another animal print-reminiscent pattern, having already acquired last year's Serengetti, the previous year's spotted cat calf-hair print, and this past fall's ocelot/snow leopard varieties (not to mention the zebra bangle, . But as soon as I saw the tortoise pattern on the Joleys, I fell in love instantly and wanted to wear them at once. There is definitely a difference in color shades between these and last year's Serengetti heels. The tortoise pattern has more yellow-orange pops, which makes them fun to pair with so much of the orange and yellow in my wardrobe. But I think they would also spice up a tan, chocolate, and black ensemble.

I liked the Joley Peep Toes so much in Tortoise, I ordered another pair in Ash, the medium gray color. They are a currently waitlisted in my size, but I should be receiving them in a couple of weeks. I hope they are just as comfy and tough as the Tortoise patent leather ones!

I was pleasantly surprised too at the luxuriousness of the Cotton-silk Poplin Perfect Shirt, which I also got in a beautiful print (see in later set). It's sheer and dressy looking, sort of like wearing silk shantung, but without all the weight. The fabric is very lightweight but not see-through, and it has enough sheen for interest but not so much that I felt like I was a glowing jack-o-lantern.

The Bronzed Twig color in the Double Serge was also a gamble. I finally jumped on the bandwagon and bought 2 Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirts. I was hesitating between sizing up or going with my normal size, and I opted to size up to a 2P as I had for the Double Serge Wool Pencil Skirt from last fall. I counted on the fit being slimmer, and since I need to feel comfy and be able to tuck in a shirt, I wanted to have a little belly space rather than not be able to eat in the skirt. I was glad I did. With the hefty material of this cotton, I was glad to have a little breathing room.

I wasn't sure if it would come out like a mustard yellow or more of a camel - or even closer to an olive. So I took a chance and got it anyway, since I was already getting 2 dark neutral pencil skirts. I definitely liked it when it came out of the box, but I had a lot of trouble at first figuring out what tops to wear with it. I experimented with a few possibilities, including an old Persimmon dress shirt. I also liked the Serengetti belt with Cate Patent Slingback Heels in Twig (first outfit on left). What do you think - is this skirt a keeper?

Finally, I ordered the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Shadow as kind of an afterthought after having such huge success with the Deep Rose one. I thought it might be a nice deep gray accent with brighter colors. I was completely wrong about the Shadow color - it turned out to be a smoky topaz color instead. However, this proved to be even more auspicious because I was able to pair it with orange and persimmon plus my tigereye bracelet. I ended up putting it into quite a few outfits, and it looked really elegant but interesting.

Next up: The Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt in Bronzed Twig, the Cotton-silk Paisley Perfect Shirt in Soft Azalea, and the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Shadow.

Like the solid version, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked the Cotton-silk Paisley Perfect Shirt in Soft Azalea. I had originally seen this print in stores and thought it was gorgeous, but I had only found a need for the shorts. However, when I was looking to expand my button-down dress short collection with new colors, I decided to give this a shot. I had mentioned in my last post that I didn't want to buy this shirt when I first saw it because I didn't need anything competing with my beloved Frances Ruffle Blouse in Cherry Blossom from last spring. But once I saw this shirt live next to my other wardrobe pieces, I realized that it had entirely different applications than the Cherry Blossom pattern.

I was also surprised at how much I liked this pattern with the Bronzed Twig pencil skirt. It was almost as if the two were meant to be worn together. The paisley pattern channels a warmer, more tropical vibe, but the sheer silky texture of the cotton-silk keeps it refined. It would be perfect under a beige/camel suit as well as on its own with neutrals. I also found that the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Shadow was a good contrast with this pattern but didn't compete with it. What do you think?

Next Up: The Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt in Dark Slate, the Summer Linen Pencil Skirt in Navy, and the Classic Leather Belt in Stone.

I had been desperately seeking a navy pencil skirt. Navy is my black, so I can't get enough of it in my wardrobe. Though I had an old chalk-stripe pencil skirt, it was pretty tight in a OP and I always winced at the thought of wearing it for long periods of time. I had also been looking for something to pair with my Slim Stretch Shirt in Rhubarb (other than jeans) that I had bought a while back. I wanted to look fresh yet sophisticated but avoid wearing it with black.

Now, I had already acquired the Stretch Sateen Pencil Skirt in Navy, but I wasn't satisfied at making it my primary navy dress skirt. Although it was super-stretchy and thus exceptionally comfortable to wear all day, the sateen attracted an awful lot of lint wherever it went. The other issue was the inability to wear it with a belt. While I loved the button tab detail on the front-sides, the buttons stuck and made it impossible to wrap a belt over the waistband. For some reason, I feel naked without a belt when tucking in a shirt. So I went on the hunt for another navy pencil skirt.

I mulled over several options before ordering the Summer Linen Pencil Skirt in Navy. I was hesitant to order this one because it was on final sale and I had never tried it in the store. The sizing was my biggest issue, since I had not found many pencil skirts from recent seasons (other than the double serge ones) to fit true to size. I found myself swimming in a 0 in such skirts as the Watercolor Pencil Skirt and the adorable cotton pencil skirt with a bow (don't remember the name) which was made of the same material as the Double Serge Cotton skirts but didn't fit the same. But after investigating exact hemlines and surveying a few people about fits, I took a chance on the Summer Linen Pencil Skirt in a 0.

It fit perfectly! Not too tight, but no unwanted gapping either (see left and right outfits above). It felt pretty nice on - not as heavy as the Double Serge Cotton. I liked the very subtle linen weave but figured it would still be easy to mix with a navy jacket of a different material if I wanted to wear it as part of a skirt suit. I also liked that the fit was more like a pencil skirt should be - longer and slimmer.

In addition to the linen skirt, I ordered the Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt in Dark Slate thinking it might be a nice alternative to black and navy. I also wanted to test the skirt with some other piece that weren't getting enough love. I wanted to see how it would work with not only rhubarb but mint and light aqua elements in my closet. Like the Bronzed Twig skirt, I sized up in the Dark Slate to a 2P and felt fine in it. The one thing that bugged me about the Double Serge Pencil Skirts in cotton and wool was that they looked shorter on my in the petite fit. Granted, that's why people order petite, but I thought that maybe it was hemmed a little too low for how I had wanted it to fit and wondered it maybe I should have opted for a regular 0. What do you think - is the fit of the Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt good on me compared to the Summer Linen Pencil Skirt (see middle outfit above)?

The Classic Leather Belt in Stone - another afterthought - turned out to be quite a versatile piece. The Stone color is a medium neutral gray. I had also ordered the Skinny Leather Belt in Metallic Silver, since I couldn't stop wearing the Metallic Gold one, and I needed something to pull together cooler shades and silver-toned accessories. But as soon as I put on the Classic Leather Belt in Stone, I realized that it was even more versatile than the Skinny Leather Belt in Metallic Silver. For one, it could be work with both silver and gold accessories (which I hadn't really planned on needing with a gray belt). But the other genius of this color was that it paired well with gray-patterned shoes and a gray Kate Spade work tote that I already owned but was having trouble bringing into my ensembles. The Stone leather belt looked fresh on anything I tried with it and was the ideal accessory for pulling together my gray bag and shoes.

Next up: The The Double Serge Cotton Pencil Skirt in Dark Slate, the Summer Linen Pencil Skirt in Navy, and the Classic Leather Belt in Stone go to work with a turquoise button-down shirt and a sage-charcoal-mint-olive color scheme.

I bought this silk sleeveless top from Ann Taylor some years back but it hadn't gotten much use. I was about to give it away when, this past spring, it found new life next to Ecru and light aqua pieces that I had picked up. I was quite happy to see that this top paired nicely with the Dark Slate skirt too. And, I found a new use for my charcoal beaded flower-clasp necklace that I had picked up in the winter at the J.Crew outlet (middle outfit) - it was a great accent with the Dark Slate pencil skirt.

I was also delighted to see how well the Stone belt picked up the gray in my favorite summer shoes - the Cinema T-Strap Sandals in Metallic Stone (left outfit). It will also go perfectly with my Joley Peep Toe Heels in Ash when I want to wear more professional but open-toed shoes.

Any thoughts on wearing the grosgrain belt - both the turquoise above (right outfit) and the red multicolored one in the previous set?

Finally, spiffing up the basic white shirt and class navy skirt combo.

I had snapped up some amazing shoe bargains over the past 6 months, including: Delman Aloha suede peep toe slingback heels in a rhubarb-tea rose (left outfit) for $15 at Marshalls, Bruno Magli slate and marine suede peep toe slingback heels for $35 at Marshalls (center outfit), and Kate Spade platinum gold leather peep toe sandal heels for $39 at TJ Maxx (right outfit). I had also collected some cute cheap jewelry pieces: Target coral-toned flower clasp necklace for $13 with Talbots pink/orange/berry cuff for $8 (left); TJ Maxx turquoise/lime/green triple-strand necklace for $29 with gold turquoise cabochon flower embellished cuff for $20. I decorated a classic white short sleeved button-down shirt and the navy Summer Linen Pencil Skirt.

Hopefully to come in the future: me in the sexy "power suit" and a new Tory Burch dress I got in May and wore to a business function a few weeks ago.

Please share your thoughts on these outfits and sorry again for the low quality! Maybe they'll be easier to see if you click on the photo to see it in full view.

Thanks!

2 Shorts and a Tee: A Review of 3 Summer Staples

2009-06-12T09:06:00.030-04:00

So this year, I elected to go all out and flaunt my not-particularly tanned legs. In previous years, I was afraid I would blind someone with my paleness. But following my late January trip to Florida, where at least the backs of my legs got slightly sunned, I figured, what the heck, let's just do it. Let's finally give all those cute J.Crew minis and shorts a whirl, since most of the adorable patterns were reserved (for some reason) for high hemlines. And while I've never felt comfortable in too-teeny minis and shorts (or shirtdresses that barely graze my backside), I have finally warmed up to certain varieties of short bottoms. Most of these fall into the category of hip-slung rather than waist-hugging, and the material has to be sturdy. It also helps (for once) to be a petite, as many of the "minis" actually fall almost to my knees.

So far, I have been satisfied with my decision. I've already displayed my deep adoration for the Limoncello Mini and its predecessor, the Deco Dots Mini. Moreover, I dared to bare my thighs in the Shocking Pink Crisp Cotton Shorts. But shorts were still a fearful area for me. Previous years of collecting had resulted in mostly 5-inch inseams and a couple of Bermuda shorts. No bold, bright patterns, unfortunately, made it into my collection. This was due largely to the fact that J.Crew is hell bent on churning out dozens of patterns in only one hemline: the dreaded 3-inch inseam. If only they could branch out a little, even into a 4-inch inseam. But no, it's 3 inches or nothing if you want a cute print.

Resigning myself to this unfortunate fact - and somewhat emboldened by my recent successes with the minis and the pink cotton 3-inch shorts - I decided, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So I dove headfirst into the world of short shorts and minis, wondering how long short hemlines would stay in style this time around.

My first acquisition of June was the Stretch Chino Frankie Short in British Khaki. I had been looking for a pair of khaki shorts that didn't look too muddy, crunchy, or matronly. At first I thought these were absolutely out of the question. But after I tried them on in the store, they were surprisingly comfy, thanks in part to the stretch cotton. While they definitely felt short, the very sturdy material made them far less breezy than I had expected. Now, the aforementioned Crisp Cotton Shorts are a much breezier alternative. They don't have any stretch, but the cotton is so lightweight, you can definitely wear them on the hottest summer days. The Frankie shorts, on the other hand, feel much more substantial. Another thing that surprised me was the fit. While they are somewhat hip-sitting, they tend to stay in place pretty well rather than sliding up and down. The surprising aspect of the fit was that I actually fit into a size 0. I almost always get shorts in a size 2. I think the stretchy fabric made them adapt well to my shape.

They are the perfect workhorse in a casual summer wardrobe as they can run all around town with tennies and sandals, but they can also be dressed up slightly with a bold top. I initially thought I'd wear them only with tees, polos, and other sporty pieces. But when, in a pinch, I needed to match a bottom to my Cherry Blossom Frances Blouse and realized my go-to metallic beige shorts were dirty, I substituted the Frankies instead. I then added heels and some sparkle and went on my way. Instead of feeling underdressed that day, I actually felt very put-together. The British Khaki color also picked up the light brown shades in the Cherry Blossom print rather nicely. And, unlike the metallic cool-beige shorts or white bottoms I normally wear with the Frances, the British Khaki Frankies allowed me to wear gold-accented accessories instead of the usual silver-accented ones.

I also found the British Khaki Frankies to go swimmingly with my Bistro Orange Georgia Silk Linen Cardigan and a brown tank (no photo yet). The khaki shade isn't too far from that of the Icon trench and the Frenchie slicker. So if you like a warmer, deeper beige, these are for you. While I didn't try the other Frankie colors, I had considered the Natural color. Unfortunately, it looks like the online inventory is currently out. Maybe they'll return as popbacks soon? I believe there are still some Frankies in stores. For shorts that came out fairly recently, I am quite surprised that they sold out this quickly. But alas, it is a testament to their fit and comfort. It also makes me feel better about shelling out the full price of $49.50.

Here is my sample ensemble with the Cherry Blossom Frances Blouse, the recently acquired Cherry Blossom Necklace in Deep Rose, a Target flower-clasp bracelet, and an old pair of magenta Franco Sarto wedge heels:

My next shorts acquisition was completely unexpected. I was returning a bunch of online unwanteds in the store one day and stumbled upon the lovely printed Seville Paisley Shorts in Azalea. To be fair, I had initially noticed the Paisley button-down shirt online and in stores a few weeks back. But since I already owned a couple of items in last year's Cherry Blossom print, I didn't want to add unnecessary competition to my wardrobe. So I had held off. But when I saw the shorts sitting out on the display table, for some reason I felt compelled to try them. Even though I had just bought a pair of shocking pink shorts plus the Frankie shorts a week later.

It was love at first sight! The print is just gorgeous. It's a fuchsia shade with a broad floral and paisley-esqe design. Now, I know what you're thinking: Elle Woods in Legally Blonde 2 stated in no uncertain terms that paisley never looked good on anyone. But honestly, if the name didn't give it away, I would never have called this design "paisley." In fact, I renamed them "hothouse flower shorts" right away, which I thought was a more fitting description of the pattern. The nice thing about this print is the infusion of warm caramel, orange/yellow, and olive tones. Normally, I'm inclined to wear hot pink with cool, crisp shades like navy and white. But this particular fuchsia hue - especially embellished with mediterannean-colored accents - made me want to wear it with browns, warm beiges, and gold. At first, I couldn't really justify buying another pair of short pink shorts. But after I realized the profound differences in shades between these shorts and the Shocking Pink Crisp Cotton Shorts, I knew that they would go well with a lot of my wardrobe. So I ponied up the full price of $58 and rushed them home.

The material is very sturdy and slightly textured, similar to the Limoncello and Deco Dots skirts. The fit is more in line with most J.Crew shorts I've tried on. Since they sit on the hips and don't have much stretch, I opted for a size 2, which fit quite well. Like most printed shorts, they come with a size zipper. They look a little dressier than some of the other lighter-colored prints and far less sporty, so I thought I could pull off some summer evening outfits with them.

I've worn the shorts twice since getting them. The first time, I paired them with a Gap Silk-Blend Ruffle Cami (which incidentally I also fell head-over-heels for). I added golden-bronze wedge sandals and a bronzy metallic belt. I found rather unexpectedly that my fuchsia Jackie cardigan from last year matched perfectly. Normally, I try not to do tone-on-tone clothing in an outfit, but with the print having enough eye-catching interest on its own, and the addition of the ruffle cami with a slight sheen, I didn't think the fuchsia Jackie weighed down the set with too much fuchsia. (Incidentally, they also match almost perfectly with winter's Perfect Fit Ruffle Tank in the pink shade whose name I can't remember.) And I think they will even go with last spring's Cashmere Shrunken Shawl Collar Cardigan in Azalea. Anyway, the cardi is just a topper that can be tied around the shoulders if needed. Finally, I donned the ubiquitous Cherry Blossom Necklace in Deep Rose - fast becoming my most useful summer accessory - and my Target flower-clasp bracelet. Here's how it turned out:

This past weekend I tried a different variation with the Seville Paisley shorts. I opted for the Georgia Silk Linen Cardigan in Warm Shell and a matching v-neck tee underneath. This time, I chose a pale gold belt to compliment last year's platinum gold Amelia Espadrilles (which, by the way, are the most comfortable and versatile summer shoes ever). I finished with - you guessed it - the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Deep Rose and a simple pale gold bamboo bangle. I felt really comfortable and summery, but elegant at the same time. This was the result:

For evening, I swapped out the espadrilles for my brand new Kate Spade pale gold high-heeled sandals, a stellar catch at TJ Maxx for just $39 (marked down from $99 just 2 weeks prior). I think I was inspired by the fuchsia insole, which lent a sassy twist to the sandals and picked up the shorts. For some inexplicable reason, I felt compelled to put my hair up too. Here is the evening version:

I am thrilled with these shorts, and I definitely see them getting a lot of use in my summer wardrobe. I think they will pull out some pieces that aren't getting enough wear as I experiment further with them. Interestingly, I don't remember seeing them online - were they ever? I only saw the shirt in this print online. Either the shorts came out earlier and already disappeared, or they were an in-store only item. The good news is, there are plenty left at Pentagon City.

The final item I couldn't resist was a tee. Granted, I didn't need any more tees, but it seemed to call my name, so I answered. I had ventured out on Saturday to return two more online items that had hung for a few weeks but never worked out. I was immediately accosted with the new rollout, which I admit I had wanted to check out earlier in the week. However, after touring the store and investigating every corner, nothing really jumped out at me. Not because there weren't some cute pieces, but because I had already gone way overboard in April and May, and many of the new items were only slightly different versions of pieces I already had. Or more of the categories I already had more than enough of.

One item, however, justified yet another full-price purchase: the Baby Rib Stripe Boatneck Tee in white with navy stripes (not online yet). This is strikingly similar to the old Regatta Boatneck Tee in white with navy horizontal stripes, except the new tee has thin baby navy stripes (hence the name). Sometimes though, wider stripes look overwhelming on my small top half, so I tend to be weary of them. But the fine stripes in this incarnation seemed just right. I liked too that it was a long but slim fit, so it wouldn't hang or be blousy like so many tops this year. Also, I had missed too many boatneck tees in the past and had been unable to find my size, so I decided not to risk it gain. So, once again, I paid full-price and considered myself lucky that it was only $29.50.

The fit, like so many tees, is, well, fitted. The boatneck is particularly "huggy" and even clingy in places. If you have a curvier top and/or feel self conscious in too-tight knits, this is accentuated further by the horizontal stripes. For this reason, I almost always size up in J.Crew tees, and I recommend this to anyone who feels similarly. The sleeves are three-quarter, which I found perfect for stacking on some chunky bracelets. And while boatneck necklines can sometimes feel constricting at the neck, this cotton weave is so soft and stretchy that it didn't present a problem. The material is the perfect summer weight - not too heavy for wearing with shorts outside, but not too sheer that you can see right through it (especially important since the tee is white). The options in the store were either white with navy stripes or white with pewter stripes. I'm not sure if this is coming online soon and what color choices will be offered.

My first thought was to wear the tee with my pink Crisp Cotton Shorts, since I thought the long fitted tee would work with short shorts. I'm also obsessed with pairing navy/white with pink, so this was a natural inclination. This combo turned out fine, and I wore the set for a few hours.

Navy Stripe Boatneck Tee with Pink Shorts by 3-Penny Princess featuring Coach bags

But then I started experimenting with some different ways to wear the tee. At my personal shopper's suggestion, I thought I'd try the tee with a white bottom. If you have white jeans, they would go perfectly with this tee. I wanted to get this look but found it a bit too warm for pants, so I opted for a white a-line skirt instead. I also tested plain white medium-length straight shorts, which looked quite attractive.

In the end, the breezy white skirt won, so I donned it with the Baby Rib Stripe Boatneck Tee. Also on the advice of my personal shopper, I selected simple gold accessories for a clean, summery feel. I topped the tee with a gold boule long necklace from Target and simple gold ball earrings. I did go a little bolder on the wrist and wore a gold cuff with turquoise cabochon beads in a flower design (from TJ Maxx). I added more bling with my Amelia gold espadrilles and a small platinum gold-trimmed linen bag from Ann Taylor Loft. My husband said, "You look very French." He rarely says things like that, and he rarely means them in a nice way. But in this case, he actually liked the ensemble. Here it is up close:

I'm still experimenting with how to wear this tee, and I'm not opposed to wearing it with a colored bottom. But I'm also going to see how I can glam it up with my white shorts and hopefully keep the French Riviera vibe. I think the tee would pair well with short shorts and even (gasp) a white micro-mini (sized for regular heights so it comes out as a mini on me), so maybe I'll give that a shot as well.

All in all, some great summer staples that I think will get a lot of wear. And though I squirm at the thought of not having used any sort of discount, in all fairness, some of this stuff couldn't be ordered online (or was out in my size). Besides, I got so many steals online in April and May, I can hardly complain. At least these items weren't priced exorbitantly to begin with.

Happy summer shopping!

A Visit from the 3-Penny Queen

2009-06-04T11:08:00.037-04:00

If there was anyone who could ever one-up the 3-Penny Princess in the quest to find a good bargain, it could only be the queen mother (whom we'll call the 3-Penny Queen). From my earliest days growing up, I can remember vivid memories of standing in line on Black Friday to catch the best deals, or sifting through the clearance racks at TJ Maxx in search of a rare marked-down designer shoe that no one else had.

To be fair, our tastes didn't exactly converge for many years. She had a penchant for the artsy, liberated, and off-the-beaten-path -- "Contemporary European" she called it -- while I was firmly planted in wholesome, American, girl-next-door classics. This was the source of endless teenage angst followed by adult loathing on my part for her complete refusal to fit into the Donna Reed housewife mold. And she was always into her career -- which wasn't a traditional female career, either. Watching her now as she manages important projects and helps get our country onto a better energy track is exciting. But as a child, I just wanted a mom who would bake cookies, make dinner for my friends, and pack lunchboxes with peanut butter sandwiches on Wonderbread with chips and applesauce. Hence, I spent more time in my dad's care than my mom's as his profession offered more flexibility (which was fortunate, as his cooking skills were always more amenable to my palate).

"Can't you be like all the other moms who wear smart sweater sets with pearls and neat polo shorts with cuffed shorts to kids' outings?" I would beg incessantly as an only child growing up in the Carolinas who just wanted to fit in.

"Why should I be like everybody else?" she would demand. "I get tons of compliments from friends and coworkers on my innovative sense of style."

"But why do you have to make me wear these weird clothes?" I would plead. "I don't want to stand out. I want to be just like the other girls in school who wear fun, casual sporty clothes and Keds. I don't want to be different."

"My dear," she would console me, "One day, you're going to realize that you're unique, and that being unique is a good thing. People try their whole lives to be different, to find that singular personality that makes them special. You're lucky -- you've already got that uniqueness. It's just waiting to come out."

"Aaargh!" I would march off into my room, hating everything that was "unique" and "special" and wanting to just be "normal" and "boring".

Which led naturally to a late high school and college wardrobe monopolized by clean-cut American classics, preppy basics from J.Crew and Gap, lots of khaki, and of course the requisite pearls that any Southern girl carries over, no matter where she moves. This took me pretty far in the Jackie-O inspired ambiance of the nation's capital and the nostalgically traditional Georgetown University, where some dorms were still single-sex and where priests still taught many classes (albeit Jesuit ones, thank God).

In the years after college, my ideal work ensembles came straight off the racks of the elegant Ann Taylor, then the epitome of grace in my limited world view. I also liked the clean lines and modern professionalism of The Limited and some timeless career classics from Banana Republic and Gap (when Gap still produced a line of refined work wear). This was supplemented by a sassy, cool evening vibe from such stores as Urban Outfitters, Express, Bebe, and Benetton -- all of which were easily accessible in the District without a car. For countless summer weekends spent largely on the Delaware beaches, I scoured the J.Crew and Banana Republic outlets (on the way to the beach) and the sale rack at Abercrombie & Fitch (before their pre-teen transformation).

Then I met my husband, which, among other changes, led to a ban of those countless summer weekends in the group beach houses. I also left my post-college stints on Capitol Hill to try my luck in the corporate world. This paid off financially, but it also changed my workwear needs. While the Hill was known for being a bastion of beige suits with medium heels and Kate Spade bags, along with knee-length dresses and pearls (no matter which party you worked for), the business sector had a little more variety. My husband also liked it when I wore girly pleated skirts, shades of (gasp) pink, and short dresses with heels.

During this period, I developed an insatiable appetite for shoes. Now, I should point out that this was not something I was born with. In fact, I never really understood my mother's overflowing shoe collection containing a most unsettling assortment of crazy platforms, killer stilettos, and a fetish-worthy stockpile of knee-high boots -- none of which were in style during the greater part of my youth. When would she ever wear those, and why on earth does one need a pair of fuchsia heels anyway? My shoe anthology, on the other hand, had been primarily composed of various specimens of brown, black, and the occasional tan sandal. For work I had usually subsisted on low pumps, slingbacks, and loafer heels. For play I chose beachy wedge flip-flops or ballet flats.

Thus it was with a fair amount of shock that I discovered that I was starting to enjoy shoe and handbag shopping more than I wanted to admit. It was even more disconcerting that I was beginning to appreciate styles that were not particularly practical. Worse, I had developed an unexplained tendency to buy shoes and bags in colors other than the aforementioned black, brown, or tan. All of a sudden I liked red, white, and silver shoes. I bought orange and pink bags. I even started to dabble in metalllics. It was disturbing that I was buying green shoes when I barely owned any green clothing. For some reason though, this trend continued, and I ended up with not only interesting shoes but higher and higher heels. All of which made me feel more like a woman than ever.

As shoes became a priority in my closet, accessories hit it big all over the retail spectrum. Over the years, pearls had remained the mainstay of my jewelry. I could experiment with big pearls, little pearls, single strands, and multiple rows, but pearls were always present. Gold was vehemently off limits for me, as I had long preferred silver and platinum as my more subdued metals of choice. But there was no denying that fine, delicate jewelry was becoming a bit passe and big costume jewels were hitting the scene with a force unseen in decades. Gold too made a huge comeback, as did beads and stones of all colors and sizes. Seeing the J.Crew models wrapped in rows of bright baubles undoubtedly ignited a need to re-decorate my wardrobe.

While this didn't exactly happen without some resistance on my husband's part -- he strongly objected to the sudden disappearance of his beloved pearls -- I continued to experiment with new looks. Don't get me wrong, I still loved my pearls -- but I felt that I needed to break out of the mold that I had been trapped in for so long and try something different, something bolder and more dramatic. I now wanted to wear colorful statement jewelry and unexpected combinations of accessories. Turquoise, coral, and quartzes that my mother had given to me years back now saw the light for the first time in ages. The pearls that did stay out on my dresser got an overhaul, being suddenly paired in never-before-seen ways, as necklaces became bracelets and single strand chokers were melded with longer, differently shaped beads. I even discovered that pearls came in all different colors, which led to a revelation that beigey, gray, and pinkish shades looked smashing on me.

Looking back at what my mom used to wear, I realize that she was years ahead of her time (or was it years behind?). Flipping through the old photographs and seeing her in the belted suit jackets, shirtdresses, chunky necklaces, tall boots, platform shoes, bug-sized glasses and turtlenecks with wide-leg trousers that are all the rage now, I find myself wondering if maybe she wasn't onto something. Even crazier, I am astonished to discover that I actually wear many of those things now -- with alarmingly similar results. Will my kids look back on my photographs one day and wonder why mommy dressed so weird? Probably. What goes around always comes around.

Fast forward to the present. When my mother came to visit last weekend, I actually looked forward to showing off my newfound style. While rooted in classics and wrapped with a colorful, feminine flair, my look was undeniably different than before. I wanted to show her how I had infused the flavors of the exotic, hints of the artsy, and essences of Parisian chic into my American, J.Crew-dominated wardrobe.

My efforts did not go unappreciated, as mom not only took notice but even complimented my style and my new accessories. And for her part, the recent years of sunbathing (bad!) and enthusiastic enjoyment of the easygoing Florida lifestyle had imparted her with a decidedly more laid-back, tanned, and carefree vibe. This in turn took some of the edge off her take-charge persona and gave her wardrobe an airier, less accessorized, and more feminine aura -- which both my father and I found pleasing.

For the first time, I felt like we could walk down the street together in harmony instead of me dreading her attention-grabbing ways and her complaining about my dreadfully boring ways. She even let me accessorize her for a change, and I actually took note of some of her ideas for some upcoming outfits I wanted to try. And she is warming up to J.Crew better than I expected....

Here she is in a J.Crew navy Corinne sweater jacket, white jeans, yellow tank, and pewter Cole Haan wedge sandals (left).

I took the opportunity to debut my Crisp Cotton Shorts in Shocking Pink with a navy Jackie cardigan and older navy polka-dot top. I accessorized with the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Deep Rose, worn here as a bracelet, and pink multi-colored sandals from Target bought last year (below).

I foresee a beautiful future for us, one where we can finally shop together in the same stores and find common ground. And shopping there will be, because one thing hasn't changed: this women still loves to shop! After 3 days of touring the area and visiting just about everyone she knew, she dragged my tired feet all over the discount stores in search of those must-have bargains. Some of her scores included Cole Haan sandals, Vera Wang Lavender Label jackets, and a new Italian-made handbag.

I took home a gossamer-thin (yet surprisingly warm) Theory ivory cashmere henley for pennies and a fetching Tory Burch shift in a most bewitching pattern that was on clearance. They will go nicely with my J.Crew pieces and fun new accessories.

Today, on this chilly and rainy day, I decided to bring out my Theory cashmere henley to road-test it. I paired it with a tea rose tank, dark bootcut Calvin Klein jeans, and my Frenchie trench in khaki (not shown). I accessorized with the Cherry Blossom Necklace in Deep Rose, a pink-orange multicolored cuff bangle from the Talbot's outlet that I picked up for $8, and a pair of Delman peep-toe slingback heels in tea rose that I plucked from the clearance rack at Marshall's for a mere $15 while shopping with my mom in Florida this winter (left).

While we no doubt still have our disagreements about style (and which hair color looks best on me), it makes me happy that we are finally learning to appreciate various elements that make up our own unique styles. Especially now that I no longer shudder at the very thought of being "unique". I am also grateful to her for conveying to me at least part of the artistic whimsy that she embraces. I hope that she is finally able to see some of my more classic ensembles as timeless rather than boring.

I have always dreamed about having little girls one day so I can dress them up and go shopping with them. I hope that they will like to play in my closet and borrow my clothes and shoes in ways that I never really wanted to in my mother's. Although, if they're anything like me, they'll be just as obstinate as I was and hate everything that I like. Oh well, at least they can play in my mother's closet.

The "You Made My Day" Award Goes to...

2009-05-26T13:47:00.027-04:00

The daily allotment of one's household mail can be grouped largely into 3 categories: that which is tossed immediately (the interminable avalanche of junk mail), that which you'd like to toss but can't (those damned bills), and that which is opened immediately but in retrospect was better off tossed (ie. a coupon from a certain store).

It is with ever-diminishing frequency that the mail brings some form of good tidings from someone you actually want to hear from, with thoughts or contents directed solely to you, and that was personally penned by a human being. When this rare confluence of events occurs, the angels are heard singing in heaven.

It was with such beneficence that the gods looked down on me recently. A certain Ms. Amy, a lovely Aficionada from New York, made my day not once but twice -- the first time about 7 weeks ago and the second time on this very day. For what should emerge from my drab mailbox but a present picked out just for me, completely free of charge.

This thoughtful, generous, and may I say elegant Aficionada found me through Slastena's blog, and a dialogue developed between us about items on our respective wish lists. Both being 0-2 petites and thus in the same boat when it comes to tracking down J.Crew finds in our sizes, we quickly began to look out for each other on the sale racks and the Great Weekly Exchange. This, of course, is a spirit embodied by many a kind Aficionada, as evidenced by numerous helpful tips about where to find various pieces and even going so far as to place merchandise on hold for each other.

This particular Aficionada took the helpful spirit a step further. She read my blog posts, remembered which colors I love, and contacted me when she had items to spare in my favorite colors. But wait, there's more. She went out of her way to mail me a sweet little package with a brand new, never worn item, completely gratis! She wouldn't even let me pay for shipping, bless her heart. Not once, but twice, mind you. And with the cutest little floral-embossed notecard, handwritten by none other than her.

The first present she sent me was a sunny pair of Favorite Fit Vintage Bootcut Cords in Golden Yellow, perfectly sized for me. This was such a nice surprise, as I had always wanted to try a bright colored pant but never really went for it. When the time came to allocate my sparse dollars on fall clothing, I had never been able to justify Golden Yellow when I always need chocolate, vanilla, or charcoal. But boy, am I glad to have those yellow cords now! They added such zest to my wardrobe.

Here are some Polyvore sets I created and successfully tested with the cords:

Golden Yellow Cords with Gray Turtleneck and Pewter/Metallics by 3-Penny Princess featuring Coach bags

Golden Yellow Cords with Navy and Gray + Metallics by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Then, today, on a truly dismal, cold, and rainy day - when I am once again left alone in the house after a long holiday weekend - what better pick me up could have arrived than a sparkling confection of a Joie de Vivre Rose Balm "Candy" Tee in the most luscious shade of Cerise? Incredibly, though I purchased several of these as Christmas gifts, I never once saw this color in the stores. Had I, it's entirely possible that I may have sprung for one. But I abstained, instead doling them out to contented friends and family like, well, candy. So imagine how overcome with awe I was to unwrap a mouthwatering little treat in today's mail and behold the sparkles that adorned it? I couldn't wait to put it on immediately, and it instantly lifted my mood for the second half of the day.

You cannot fully appreciate how amazing this tee looks on me, especially when paired with my beloved Cerise cardi from fall. The color alone makes me glow, and the size could not have been better planned. I've already set to work creating Polyvore sets with it:

Cerise Candy Tee with Cerise Lili Cardi + Deco Dots Skirt by 3-Penny Princess featuring Cole Haan shoes

Cerise Candy Tee with Pumpkin/Bella Jackets & Animal Prints by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

Therefore, I'd like to bestow upon Ms. Amy a "You Made My Day" Award. Thank you for making my day not once but twice!

Celebrating of the (Unofficial) Start of Summer: A Review of 3 J.Crew Strappy Heeled Sandals

2009-05-22T13:24:00.014-04:00

I had been stalking the Cinema T-strap Chunky Heel Sandals since they came out. My mission: to find a pair of summery, light-colored sandals that could pick up a lot of the pinks, fuchsias, yellows, aquas, and blues that I tend to wear in the warmer months. I also wanted shoes that would look good with gray and silver pieces in my wardrobe. Plus, they had to be comfortable and city-proof, so no sharp stiletto heels or light-colored satin confections. The heel I sought had to be higher than 2.5 inches but no more than 3 so I wouldn’t be teetering around painfully during the outdoorsy summer months. The Cinema T-strap Chunky Heel Sandals in Metallic Stone fit the bill perfectly, with one small problem: the almost $200 price tag. Out of principle, I balked at paying anything more than $100 for a pair of sandals. However, visiting them daily on the website was starting to wear down my willpower (imagine that), so I made a mental decision to just bite the bullet and stop torturing myself already.

Armed with the justification that they would likely work with half of my wardrobe and embodied everything that I was looking for in a summer shoe made me feel slightly less guilty. I prepared myself mentally to take the plunge and plunk down the $200, knowing that waiting for them to go on sale would probably mean kissing them goodbye. I knew better than to wait too long – it’s darned near impossible to find my size as it is, let alone to risk waiting for the rare shoe that is made in my size (usually 5 in peep toe pumps or sandals, and 5.5 in closed-toed heels). I had learned this the hard way by missing one after another gorgeous heels in past seasons, most of which I could never find again on eBay in my size. So, I took a deep breath and approached my online cart, which had been ready and waiting for a couple of weeks.

Then, a sign came from above: the 20% Private Sale email arrived. I rejoiced vastly, for this was truly an auspicious omen. Regrettably, it took me no more than 5 minutes to decide that this was also a good opportunity to test out a couple of other sandals that I had been eyeing.

I had taken a liking as well to the Kendra Patent T-strap sandals, which looked so delicate and graceful, yet stood on a sturdy 3-inch heel. Magazines and J.Crew associates had been urging me in recent months to try a nude shoe on the premise that it could elongate my leg. Not one to pass up any feature that might make my 5-foot frame look taller and my legs look longer, I finally heeded their advice. I picked out the Kendra in a nice nude Champagne, which not only came in a 5.5 but also instructed shoppers to “order a half-size up.” This made my chances of fitting into them even more likely. Besides, I rationalized, Champagne was the ultimate neutral. Furthermore, the price of $168 wasn’t as hard to swallow with an additional 20% discount.

As an afterthought (and not wanting to waste a precious opportunity to not only get my size but try on a bunch of shoes before the dread Final Sale hit), I decided to take a chance on one more shoe: the Carina Metallic T-strap heels in Metallic Gold, the Kendra’s more glittery sisters. In addition to a shoe that worked with all of the aforementioned shades, I had also been searching for a new pair of gold heels for quite some time. My sandals from previous years, though lovely, were starting to wear out, and in addition, they were purchased more for special occasions than for everyday use. Thus, the heels were not suited for frequent walks along the broken bricks and the cobblestone streets that I call home. In the past, it didn’t matter much, because I didn’t wear as much metal in the way of accessories. But now, thanks to copious baubles and metallic accessories that flooded in over the past several seasons, I now was no longer afraid to be a gilded lady.

Snow Leopard Cardi with Saffron, Ivory and Gold by 3-Penny Princess featuring J Crew

The other issue with my older metallics was, well, with the metal. You see, platinum had been my bling of choice for as long as I can remember. This had aligned perfectly with previous incarnations of metallic heels such as the Lucie, Twyla, and Savoy. Then, somewhere between the deluge of golden yellows and an outpouring of gold jewelry into every store, platinum was simply not sunny enough anymore. I needed warm, glowing, and unapologetically yellow gold.

Armed with my discount, I placed an order for all 3 pairs of sandals. The days that followed were filled with restless anticipation. To channel my energy into something productive, I once again performed a clean-out of my closet, this time reaching deep beneath the guest bed to pull out several old pairs of shoes that I had been reluctant to part with. They had, after all, served me faithfully all these years, but now they had all lost their allure for one reason or another.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long before the giant box of goodies arrived (the benefit of living 3 hours from Lynchburg). After tearing it open and unleashing the plastic box straps without cutting my fingers (always a potential hazard in my haste), I unearthed the pricey specimens.

I pounced on the Cinema T-strap Chunky Heel Sandals in Metallic Stone right away. Let me sum up these shoes in 3 words: Work of Art. The design, while understated, is unique and striking. The skilled interplay of cream and silver patent leather with light pewter suede is nothing short of exquisite. They exude sophistication and refinement but still manage to channel a light and summery mood. The mix of colors also makes them highly versatile, which is a huge boon for when you're traveling and can only take one pair of shoes. They’ll be perfect with my ivory skirts, lemony summer sweaters, and all the aqua I plan to acquire this season. I am also looking forward to wearing them on a slightly overcast day when I’m feeling a little cooler-toned but the temperature is warm. I think they will look fabulous with my Nicky Skirt in Dark Fog paired with a Fuschia sweater, or my Cherry Blossom Frances Blouse (from last spring) over metallic linen shorts. They also add a touch of ingénue to jeans and navy suit pants.

Although they are called “chunky-heel sandals,” I definitely didn’t feel that the heel was too chunky. Instead, the heel is reassuringly sturdy and just wide enough to walk in the city, as I had hoped. But it’s still plenty polished and graceful to wear as a dress sandal. As soon as I slid my food in and tightened the ankle strap, I felt a wonderful comfort and support in the footbed. The toe straps, though numerous, were exceptionally smooth and didn’t cut one bit into my feet (unlike many prior strappy and cutout varieties). They weren’t too tight, either, but just right. I felt that my foot was securely in place but could still breathe without problems. I wanted to walk right out of the house at once and stroll through town. But alas, I had more shoes to try on, so that would have to wait.

Rain or Shine in Dark Fog Nicky and Light Turquoise Cardi by 3-Penny Princess featuring Coach bags

Next, I tested the Kendra Patent T-strap sandals in Champagne. First, let me point out what these shoes are not: clodhopping, in-your-face gladiator sandals with lots of strappage and wide chunky heels like so many varieties of this season. Instead these are beautifully rendered, elegant sandals that can be worn with a summer suit, party frock, or your favorite lived-in shorts. The thin patent strips are designed to highlight less shoe, more foot – great if the point is to elongate your leg with a nice neutral. The Champagne color is truly a wear forever-and-with-everything shade. It doesn’t have any really tinge of brown, yet, it’s not cream either. It’s sort of the color of a café au lait if you like it how I like it – with lots of milk and a splash of coffee. The champagne patent leather in the Kendra sandals is basically the same shade and sheen as the Belle Clutch in Pebble (which looked a whole lot more white online than in person). The heel is classic wood, and not really that wide, either (I think my photo makes it look wider). It’s just ample enough to avoid getting caught in cracks and grates – not to mention moist perpetually rain-soaked grass – but still refined enough to wear with your fluttery skirts and gauzy dress. It won’t compete with your gold, but it won’t look dull with your silver, either. If you wear a lot of deep, vibrant colors, this could be just the thing to balance your ensembles. I put them aside for serious consideration.

Finally, I opened the Carina Metallic T-strap heels in Metallic Gold. As soon as I unwrapped them and beheld their beauty, it was love at first sight. If I liked the Kendra sandals in Champagne, I was instantly enamored by the Carina sandals in Metallic Gold. The are such a stunning, radiant shade of gold that they actually warmed up my skin, especially my very pale feet, which never adequately receive the rays of the sun. The slightly crackly finish on the leather – which on earlier, more substantial shoes seemed a bit too much – looked unique and eye-catching on the delicately-strapped Carinas. The color and the finish sets them apart for the hundreds of metallic shoes available now. The heel is exactly the same as in the Kendra, and with the super-gold body of the Carina, the wooden heel works to de-evening (just made up that word) them a bit.

The one fatal flaw in both the Kendra and Carina, however, is the single front strap that holds your toes in. Let me back up by saying that I have slightly wide feet, so a lot of shoes are a little tight on me. Unfortunately, the front strap in the Kendra was connected so low to the footbed that it left barely any space to slide my foot under it. While this is theoretically practical to keep your foot from sliding around given the barely-there nature of these sandals, it proved to be much too tight for me. When I managed to slide my foot completely in, my toes felt like they were being strangled. I couldn’t even walk around to test them out.

On a positive note, I loved how, unlike similar sandals I had tried, these have an adjustable ankle strap as well as main long center strap that linked the ankle strap to your toe strap. These are looped through and can be rotated in case you want to slide the buckle way off to the side or even wear it in the back, in addition to a buckle that you can tighten around your ankle. You can also slide the main long center strap to the right or to the left of both your toe strap and ankle strap. This did help a little as I found that sliding the long center strap slightly in the direction of my smaller toes (see close-up photo and please pardon my overdue pedicure) helped the toe strap to give a little. As far as the size, I felt that these two models definitely run a bit small, maybe about 1/2 a size.

Against my better judgment, I simply couldn’t resist the siren call of the gorgeously gilded Carina, so I put them immediately and decided to take them for a spin. I paired them with the Limoncello Mini, Corinne Sweater Jacket in Deep Yellow (from last summer)over a Natural Perfect-fit Tank, plus a few gold-toned accents including the Scattered Boule Necklace and the Sunburst Medallion Cuff.

As predicted, the heel itself was very comfortable to walk in, and the footbed itself was quite supportive. But my poor toes cried out in pain for much of the time. They bore deep grooves (not quite welts) after wearing them for half the day. But what sweet agony it was, as I was showered with compliments.

The Carinas held their own amidst the bright Corinne and attention-grabbing Limoncello print. I didn’t even have to announce that I got new shoes; people just noticed instantly (but in a good way). I knew that I would reach for these often. But what to do about the pain? My only hope was something I read today on Patina Cabachon’s blog about some kind of shoe stretcher from QVC that she used for her Paige metallic heels (hmmm, is this a trend with J.Crew sandals?). Is this thing real, and how does it work? Anyway, I will not give up on my dazzling Carina heels.

All 3 sandals displayed signs of excellent craftsmanship and high-quality materials. They also seemed to have some kind of cushioned insole in the footbed, which is always a bonus. The Cinema T-strap sandals were more true to size in my opinion, while the Kendra and Carina T-strap sandals were a little smaller and tigher.

Let’s put it this way: if I were only going to buy only one pair of shoes to wear for the summer (and also in spring and fall), the Kendra Patent T-strap sandals in Champagne are hands down the most multi-functional. Between the ideal design, utterly perfect neutral-but-not-blah shade, and reasonable (for J.Crew) price, they could probably pull together every item in your wardrobe and work with every gleam of metal in your accessory collection. I did not, however, feel that the Kendra sandals were needed, as I had already embraced the Cinema heels in Metallic Stone for cooler shades and pastels, and the Carina heels in Metallic Gold for warmer and richer hues. It’s not that the Kendras in Champagne weren’t lovely and endlessly practical, it’s just that my heart would always lean toward one of the others. And since I couldn’t possibly justify keeping all 3 pairs (even after the 20% discount), I boxed up the Kendra sandals and took them back to the store.

Post Script:
As I finish writing this, I noticed that the Cinema T-strap Chunky Heel Sandals are completely gone in Metallic Stone online. I also saw the Carina Metallic T-strap heels are no longer available in a size 5.5 in any color. Sorry for those who are inspired by this review! If you still want them, I hope J.Crew can do a “we will find it” for you. As for me, I have certainly learned my lesson when it comes to J.Crew shoes in my size: you snooze, you lose.

Enjoy the holiday weekend, and happy (almost) summer!

Update:
Today I took the Cinema T-Strap Heel Sandals out for a few hours after my hubby came home from work. I tell you, if ever there was a pair of shoes to plan an outfit around, these were them. I deliberated for a while before trying them with an old ivory Wendy-like a-line skirt, magenta ruffled halter top, and the Georgia cardigan in Weathered Stone. After testing several accessories, I finally settled on the Skinny Mirror Metallic Belt and, surprisingly, the Sunburst Medallion Cuff again. When I first put on the shoes, I felt a slight twinge of concern as my toes rubbed little and my foot got stuck too low down. But then, after walking around a little, they seemed to mold to my feet fine and felt fine.

As soon as I put on the sandals, all of a sudden I was transported back to the 1940s and felt tragically chic. I started humming some Sarah Vaughan tune. My husband was perplexed and asked what I was singing, but I didn't want to give away my secret (or point out that I had bought new shoes).

We hit a few stores to run errands and to pick up food to cook over the weekend. While driving and walking in and out of the parking lot with bags in my hands, I almost felt like I was wearing wedges because the stacked heels were so comfortable. It was actually quite refreshing to not wear stilettos for a change. The insole also felt cushioned and provided good support. Although my toes stayed snug inside the front straps, they didn't hurt or chafe.

I had initially worried that the cream colored front strap and heel cover would scratch and get dirty easily. While it's much too early to tell, I will say that, during our trip to the grocery store, I sustained 2 separate mini foot injuries while walking. Once I stumbled into a metal stand that was partially hidden on the bottom when I went to gather fresh corn and stubbed my toe. I felt the impact on my shoe and looked to see if it scuffed, but it was fine. Then, after walking out of the store, my dear husband ran over my toe with the full shopping cart. I jumped and cried out some clean version of a profanity while I hopped on one foot. A nice gentleman actually came over and asked if I was okay, and I assured him that I was fine. He insisted that my hubby didn't mean to do it, to which my DH responded (jokingly of course), "No, I meant to run over her ankle but I missed." When the pain subsided and I was able to examine both my toe and the shoe, I was pleasantly surprised that neither had suffered any visible damage. I had expected there to be a big crinkle in the patent leather strap and at least a black mark on the white part, but no such thing was to be found. I silently applauded the excellent craftsmanship and quality of materials.

After we made it home (with no further delays), I set to work right away preparing dinner. Too rushed to change, I kept the Cinema sandals on and donned an apron to cover my clothes. Amazingly, I continued to walk and stand in comfort as I hurried about slicing, dicing, and cooking up various dishes.

The best part? When we had visited our favorite bakery, the woman who works there -- who naturally knows us as we're regulars -- complimented my outfit and told me that I always looked like Sarah Jessica Parker. Assuming she was referring to the famous Carrie outfits from S.I.T.C. (I didn't have the heart to tell her I had only watched about 2 episodes, both times while at friends' houses), I thanked her graciously.

I'm so glad I got these - they are not only smashing but also highly practical and comfy. I can't wait to try more ensembles with them!

Update #2:

A huge thank you to Slastena who pointed out that she saw the Cinema T-strap Chunky Heel Sandals on sale today for $99.99. Curious, I went back to the website and, guess what, they were not sold out in Metallic Stone at all! They were, in fact, in the sale section. Even crazier, my size was still available. I immediately got on the phone with customer service to get a price adjustment. They did not only that (as I was within my 7 day timeline), but they let me take an additional 20% off the shoes! How cool is that? So I got these amazing sandals for just $80! It looks like sizes 5.5 through 10 are still available, so if you want 'em, now's the time to get 'em. I of course highly recommend these darlings.

On that note, have an awesome and restful Memorial Day weekend, and try not to shop too much!

Recap & Photos of Aficionada Spring Tea and Jewelry in the Garden

2009-05-09T22:25:00.055-04:00

Breezy sunshine and fragrant flora of all varieties finally delighted Washingtonians following a determined spell of heavy rains that plagued the region for what seemed like weeks. Fortunately, the showers and ominous clouds gave way just long enough today to enjoy a gorgeous afternoon outisde enjoying tea, sweets, and the company of friends in the garden. The brilliant blossoms came alive everywhere when embraced by the sun's welcome rays.

But the real flowers to behold were the J.Crew Aficionadas, who gathered on this gem of a sunny spring day to partake in the elegant tradition of Afternoon Tea. We swapped adventures about shopping, tales at home, and of course scintillating gossip about goings on around town -- all the while savoring champagne and canapes followed by finger sandwiches, scones, and pastries with assorted teas.

The 14 ladies were bedecked in bright spring motifs and floaty dresses, and adorned with sparkling baubles. Heidi G. allured in her refined Bouquet Cardigan topping the quintessentially chic little black shift dress. Slastena fluttered in debuting the ethereal Tiered Linen Playa dress in papaya. Not to be outdone, Drewablank stunned everyone in the new Watercolor Floral Pencil Skirt paired with a Lydia Blouse and Cate Slingbacks in matching seashell. Rosa channeled Audrey Hepburn in a delicate eyelet dress topped with a smart navy Jackie cardigan, while Summer looked ravishing in the new cotton poplin Ruffle-Top Tie Dress in a sultry dark olive (in stores now). It was Mediterranean-meets-Virginia prep for Dinagideon as she continued the Fresco fabulosity in an olive Bria Cami and pink Chinos finished with matching Printed Ballet Flats. Nancy breezed in with an invigorating Silk-Linen V-Neck Sweater in fresh mint paired with Cocktail Capris and striking Magdalene Heels. Kelly picked up the nautical theme in a classic navy knit dress topped with a crisp white jacket, while Diana P. continued the beachy vibe in the navy Printed Coastal Tunic. Finally, Cloggsy and Stephanie opted for cool, billowy white, with Cloggsy flaunting a cheery full skirt in rhubarb.

Equally dazzling was the exquisite jewelry created by the talented Diana P. as she unveiled her Spring-Summer collection. Floral details were abloom in several pieces, as were tropical shades of yellow, orange, aqua, and lime. Devotees and new fans alike took advantage of the swell discount as they scooped up freshest must-wear pieces, no doubt anticipating the receipt of many compliments on their unique finds.

The icing on the teacakes were the surprise favors for all the guests, courtesy of Richmond Aficionada Cloggsy. The artistic Ms. Cloggsy, who owns the deliciously addictive English Tea Paperie, thoughtfully made each guest a set of their very of personalized notecards, complete with their names and teacup embellishments. Thank you, Cloggsy! What a lovely gift to take home, and what a gracious gesture.

Thanks to all the Aficionadas who made this the loveliest of afternoons. I hope you enjoyed this (rare) sunny day in May, and I can't wait to see you next month! Also, check out Slastena's, Cloggsy's, Summerilla's, Heidi's and Dinagideon's posts for more tidbits and photos. Here are the rest of my pictures:

Update on Tea and Jewelry in the Garden

2009-04-17T11:17:00.009-04:00

The date has been set and the evites have been sent. The 6th Annual Tea in the Garden will be held on Saturday, May 9 at 1:00 PM. Please let me know if you would like to join us but did not receive an evite.

Also, some of you who are not in the D.C. area have inquired how to see more of Diana P.'s jewelry and purchase it. Her etsy page is dianap.etsy.com.

Email me at contact@3pennyprincess.com if you need to get in touch with me.

I look forward to seeing you on the 9th!

Calling all Tea and Jewelry Aficionadas...

2009-04-01T13:32:00.001-04:00

Spring is finally in the air, and you know what that means: flowers, flowers, everywhere!

Get out your dresses and skirts and join me for the 6th annual Afternoon Tea in the Garden... hats optional.

We will feature a selection of fine teas as well as an assortment of tea sandwiches, canapés, scones, sweets, and tea cakes. A tour of the garden will also be conducted.

The Tradition of Afternoon Tea
Anna, the 7th Duchess of Bedford, is often credited with inventing the pastime of afternoon tea in the early 1840's. Traditionally, dinner was not served until 8:30 or 9:00 in the evening and the Duchess often became hungry by 4:00. She ordered a small meal of bread, butter, and sweets such as cakes, tarts, and biscuits, to be brought secretly to her boudoir, along with tea. When she was exposed, she was not ridiculed as she had feared, but her habit caught on and the concept of niceties and tea became popular and eventually known as "afternoon tea.” This pause for tea became a fashionable social event governed by etiquette.

During the 1880's, upper-class and society women would change into long gowns, gloves and hats for their afternoon tea which was usually served in the drawing room or garden. Afternoon or “Low Tea” is typically served between 3:00 and 5:00 and is often accompanied by dainty tea sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and preserves, cakes and pastries.

Unlike afternoon tea, “High Tea” was conceived in the late nineteenth century as the workingman's supper. Also known as the “Meat Tea,” High Tea is served early in the evening to substitute dinner and consists of hearty foods such as meat and cheese dishes, breads, cookies and meat pies.

The proposed date is Sunday, May 17 (the weekend after Mother's Day and before Memorial Day weekend). Please let me know if you can attend on this date. If not, Sunday, April 26 is another possibility. Email me at contact@3PennyPrincess.com or leave a comment with your availability. A formal evite will follow.

And, for all you jewelry lovers... Diana P. from the shopping & brunch will feature her latest jewelry designs (see necklaces on Dinagideon, HeidiG, Lexieloo, Diana P, and 3-Penny Princess in the last 3 Brunch photos). She has kindly offered an Aficionada discount on all pieces!

Here are some of her exquisite creations:

I look forward to sipping tea in the garden with you!

J.Crew Private Shopping Event & Brunch: What We Wore, What We Bought...

2009-03-30T11:06:00.015-04:00

D.C. ladies, you looked phenomenal in your colorful, girly, and perfectly accessorized J.Crew outfits! You were a huge hit with the Pentagon City sales associates, and you definitely made the scene at Clarendon's chic Boulevard Woodgrill.

Below is what we wore. Please share your Polyvore set with me! Either send me the link at contact@3pennyprincesss.com or leave a comment letting me know your Polyvore name.

Also, what did you take home with your 20% discount? Tell me all about your finds!

J.Crew Private Shopping & Brunch - by 3-Penny Princess on Polyvore.com

JCA DC Brunch - by Cleo26 on Polyvore.com

Diana P's J.Crew Private Shopping & Brunch Outfit - by 3-Penny Princess on Polyvore.com

DC J Crew Aficionada Brunch-03/29/09 - by HeidiGblog on Polyvore.com

Polyvore To Real Life: JCA event 3/29/2009 - by Jcrew chick (aka slastena) on Polyvore.com

Dina's Brunch Outfit - by 3-Penny Princess on Polyvore.com

3Penny Princess Shopping Spree - by DC Hill Grl on Polyvore.com

JCA-DC Private Shopping Event & Brunch - by Smartiepants on Polyvore.com

DC JCA Brunch Outfit by DCFashionista featuring J Crew jeans

Easy, breezy Sunday morning shopping w/JCAs by fool4fashion featuring GAP jeans

JCA Shopping Event by AnneG featuring J Crew necklaces

J.Crew Private Shopping Event and Brunch: Photos & Recap

2009-03-29T18:55:00.026-04:00

Thanks to all the D.C. area Aficionadas who attended the marvelous extravaganza that was the J.Crew Private Shopping Event followed by Sunday brunch!

An incredible day was had by all, thanks to the tremendous efforts of the hardworking and talented J.Crew Pentagon City associates. Each Aficionada was showered with lavish attention, lovely sweets, and refreshing mimosas as the amazing associates waited on us hand and foot to make sure we found lots try on from the pretty new spring and summer collection. The guests walked away with plenty of fabulous finds (to wear to future occasions!) purchased at a 20% discount. The experience was no less than a shopping fairy tale!

Afterwards, we adjourned to the lively Boulevard Woodgrill in Arlington for brunch. Our server did an outstanding job of attending to all of our food and beverage needs as well as taking some key photos of the group. The private dining room was idea for catching up with each other, and also for sneaking a peak at Diana P's stunning jewelry creations (more on that in an upcoming post).

The morning started somewhat overcast in the high 50s with a little drizzle but blossomed into a gorgeous sunny afternoon in the mid 70s. And speaking of blossoming, the famous Washington cherry blossoms were in full bloom throughout the area, making for a glorious spring day to complement the lovely spring pieces in the store.

All the Aficionadas looked spectacular in their "Frilly Frocks" themed J.Crew ensembles. Polyvore sets to follow. Please send me yours!

Guests in attendance included Slastena, Dinagideon, Drewablank, DianaP, Cleo, HeidiG, Kat, Lexieloo, JBird, Metropolitan Magnolia, Joyce, AnneG, Rosa, Geneva, Aasha, LisaK, Jackie from DC, Nancy, Cindy, Gina, Gillian, Awojo, Amy, Kate, and 3-Penny Princess. (Please let me know if I've left anyone off the list.)

Check out the photos below:

Update:
Susan, our talented and attentive (and stylishly polished) J.Crew personal shopper, sent a note thanking all of us for attending the Private Wardrobing Session. She writes:

"...All the ladies were wonderful, and were so pleasant to work with. I know the staff had a good time, and I hope all of you did as well.

I've got you scheduled for the end of August. Ahh, I love fall clothes; its my favorite line all year."

Yes girls, you know what that means... we're invited back in late August to preview the Fall 2009 collection. Keep your calendars open!

Also, check out dinagideon's blog post and Slastena's blog post for a swell recap of the private shopping & brunch with photos.

Update on D.C. Aficionada Private Shopping & Brunch

2009-03-24T15:32:00.012-04:00

Washington, D.C. J.Crew Aficionadas, I am pleased to update you on some great news about this Sunday's Private Shopping Event and Brunch...

First of all, get ready to shop till you drop! The Pentagon City J.Crew store has graciously offered to delay their store opening by 2 hours so that the Aficionadas can have the store all to themselves from 10:00 AM-12:00 PM. We will be guest VIPs!

Plus, they will make our Private Wardrobing experience a delightful one by serving snacks, coffee, juice, mimosas, and tasty treats.

And, get this: You will receive 20% off a $125 purchase during the shopping event!

I will also update you on the weekend's new offerings and promotions as soon as I receive them.

Brunch at The Boulevard Woodgrill will begin at 1:00. We will be seated in the downstairs private dining room. If you can't make it to the private shopping event, meet us at the restaurant afterwards.

If anyone is riding Metro and needs a ride from Pentagon City to The Boulevard Woodgrill, please let me know. Also, if anyone needs directions either to Pentagon City or to The Boulevard Woodgrill, feel free to contact me.

Finally, don't forget to take the poll on my blog to vote for the items you're most looking forward to trying on during our Private Wardrobing Session.

Visit the original event post for all the details and locations.

If you have any questions, either leave me a comment or email me at contact@3PennyPrincess.com.

I look forward to seeing you all on Sunday!

Update:

This just in!

Our personal shopper just sent me the list of promotions that will be going on in the store this weekend. Here they are:

Sweaters:
• NEW! Featherweight Cashmere S/S Cardigan (15534) - $99 ($168)
• Featherweight Cashmere Cardigan (11271) - $125 ($158)
• French Terry Cardigan (13658) - $49.50 ($59.50)
• S/S Cashmere Crewneck Tee (12248) - $78 ($98)

Shirts:
• All ¾ Stretch Shirts (11454, 12072) - $48.00 ($64-$58)
• His Stripe Shirt (97335) - $50.00 (69.50)

Knits:
• NEW! Tissue Boyfriend V-neck Tee (11657) - $19.50 ($29.50)
• Pique Polos (13946, 13852) - $24.50 ($39.50-$42)
• S/S Perfect Crewneck (97785) - $15 ($22.50)
• French Terry Double Hoodie (12661) - $49.50 ($59.50)
• Painter Crewneck (12672) - $24.50 ($34)
• Washed Favorite Tank (92236) – 2 for $25 (16.50)

Pants/Shorts:
• NEW! Café Capri (10492, 13327, 13947) - $59.50 ($79.50)
• Select White Denim (99774, 11579) - $20 off ($98)
• Cocktail Capri (12305, 12428) - $69.50 ($79.50)
• Seaside Shorts (13052, 13810) - $39.50 ($49.50)
• Premium Stretch Bistro Pant (99809) - $78 ($88)
• Everyday Chino (95397) - $49.50 ($59.50)
• Stretch Summerweight Bermuda Short (99432) - $39.50 ($49.50)

Jackets/Suiting:
• Canvas Atelier Jacket (13105) - $98 ($148)
• White Denim Jacket – 25% off ($98)
• Pinstripe Stretch Wool Suiting (95729, 92730, 95728) – 25% Off
($148-$128)
• Washed Curator Trench (11899) - $118 ($158)

Swim:
• NEW! All Full Price Swim – 30% off

Dresses/Skirts:
• Cotton Sateen Gateau Skirt (13464) - $69.50 ($88)
• Beachcloth Raquel Ruffle Dress (12651) - $59.50 ($78)
• Sanur Dress (91099) - $59.50 ($68)
• Novelty Mini Skirts – 25% off ($98-$69.50)
• Pencil Skirts (Various) - $69.50 ($128-$98)

Accessories:
• Cashmere Blend Scarves (15242, 14547) - $49.50 ($68)
• All Full Price Women’s Shoes – 25% off
• All Full Price Women’s Sandals – 25% off
• All Fabric Belts - $24.50 ($34-$38)
• All Full Price Socks & Knee highs – 3 or more 30% off
• All Capri Sandals (72868, 90874, 14181) - $10 off ($49.50)
• Select Bangles (Various) – 2 or more 30% off ($34-$28)
• All Women’s Flip-flops(Various) – 2 or more 20% off ($49.50-$19.50)
• All Tortoise Accessories – 2 or more 25% off ($24.50-$16.50)

Lessons of a Shopaholic Part 3: Days 15-28 in Shopping Rehab

2009-03-21T16:19:00.047-04:00

Day 15:
Enjoyed a nice social Sunday with friends, made it to church, and called my parents. Made divine cinnamon French toast for me and hubby. Gave the cat extra love. Didn't venture near a store.

Fought the urge to surf the retails sites. Instead, read Wikipedia for a couple of hours while DH played video games. Learned several interesting facts about India, Sanskrit, Buddhism, and the Jain religion. Learned that Buddhism is the world's 4th largest organized religious group while Hinduism is the 3rd largest. Also learned that Hinduism is one of the world's oldest living religions and that the word "Hindu" comes from the ancient Persian word for the Indus River. Looked forward to learning more about the world outside of shopping.

Day 16:
Focused the entire morning on administrative and housekeeping items. Then, received a call out of the clear blue from a work client asking to meet in 2 days. This sent me reeling to put together a massive portfolio and update numerous projects. Spent the rest of the day and evening on the phone and and computer doing research, polishing off my bio, and emailing various sources. Went to bed tired and slept well.

Day 17:
Spent the day running to meetings with other clients. All ran over and left me with little time for potential diversions. The rainy weather further underscored my desire to get home, get dry, and finish projects. Again, worked into the evening.

Day 18:
Met with new client after rising early to finish preparing. Meeting went so-so (mostly from my perspective), but I was proud of myself for having finished a lot of important tasks in a short period of time and finally updating a lot of out-of-date projects. Although I didn't feel that our goals were currently in alignment, I agreed to keep in touch anyway.

Day 19:
Worked on tasks for other clients and spent much of the day in negotiations between various parties.

Took a long lunch to celebrate my productive week. Found myself with nothing to do temporarily while waiting for responses from clients. Surfed the net, of course.

As always, a bad idea, given that J.Crew was once again offering a discount, and there were so many pretty spring things I wanted! Especially since the temperature was once again 70 degrees and I couldn't wait to get into spring clothes. Bravely resisted the urge.

Received several discount emails from other retailers. Cole Haan sent a reminder about the 30% off ending in a few days. Gap, Banana Republic, and Old Navy sent out a friends & family coupon code for 30% off. Ignored Ann Taylor, Piperlime, Nine West, and DSW.

Closed my internet browsers as they were doing me no good. Re-opened one window and went straight to Wikipedia for more enlightenment. Figured I needed fluffier topics to keep my interest. Read all about the actors and TV personalities on some of my favorite shows.

Did you know that Stacy London of What Not to Wear majored in philosophy and Germanic studies before working for Vogue and Mademoiselle magazines? And, her mother is Sicilian and her stepmother is a romance novelist. Also learned that Bobby Flay had a major falling out with Iron Chef Morimoto after losing to him in Japan in 1997 (caused apparently by Flay offending Morimoto). They had a rematch where Flay won the competition, and the two are now friends. Wikipedia is my favorite new time waster!

Finally decided to hit the grocery store to reload my fridge and pantry for the coming week. No more ordering pizza and Chinese food!

Day 20:
Fell off the wagon - hard.

Finished negotiations and paperwork for clients from previous day and had a nice long lunch. Took the opportunity to catch my breath and catch up on social emails that I had been neglecting all week. Devoted a few hours to taking care of details of planning the upcoming J.Crew Aficionada private shopping & Sunday brunch event. Checked evite about a dozen times, made calls to managers, sent several emails, and finalized logistics.

Hubby came home in the early afternoon, unexpectedly. He said he had to finish work projects in the evening and weekend after hours (ah, the joys of IT directors!). Updated him on all the exciting news about the J.Crew Aficionada outing and told him all the pieces were coming together.

With a little bit of trepidation, I finally broached the question I had been avoiding: "Honey, if I'm good for the rest of the month and avoid shopping diligently, can I end my shopping fast early to shop at our private shopping event?" After all, I did start a little early, about 4 days before Lent, which gives me a full 33-day fast before the big day...

"We'll see how good you are," he countered. "If you can stay out of trouble for that long, we'll decide then."

"I've already got almost 20 days under my belt. I'm sure I'll be fine," I assured him. Besides, I argued, it would give me incredible motivation to not shop if I knew that I would be rewarded with the ultimate prize: a guilt-free shopping spree.

Looking at my watch, I calculated that I still had time to run some errands before the Friday traffic started. With work taking over my week, I hadn't even had time to pick up my dry cleaning, let alone get my nails done. Oh, and there was also that pesky bag of clothes sitting in my car that I had finally decided to return from a few weeks ago...

Off I went on "errands." My intentions were good that afternoon as I sped along the highway toward my destination: another trip to J.Crew. Not my home store, of course, where I would have to face all the people who knew me, but the further-out store where I didn't feel compelled to buy something each time I returned. Especially since I had a very limited window of opportunity to go and come back before the hellacious Friday traffic hit with full force.

But oh, what a difference a week makes! My previous trip to this store was a success in that I managed to return without succumbing to the temptations of buying any new springwear or riffling through the sale rack for great deals on winter stuff. Today, however, the store was re-arranged to show off the floaty new dresses and bright graphic tees that had become the trend. How could I not take notice? I would just take one quick tour to assess the new finds, you know, so I could mentally take note of my wish list for the upcoming private shopping event.

Darn it! I knew instantly that I was not going to walk out unscathed. Serpentining through the sherbert colored cardigans, breezy patterned blouses, and flirty skirts, I could not muster up the slightest ounce of self control. Decided to make the best of it and give in. Walked out with a new Jackie cardigan, bright coral tunic, a polka-dot blouse, and a completely irresistible flower-clasp necklace. My only consolation? All were hugely discounted, plus, I had returned 2 items which brought the bill down significantly. Excellent acquisitions by anyone's standards! Even I had to admit that I felt a swell of pride as I sauntered out with a full shopping bag reviewing my superb selections.

Even though I had only spent $30, I had just bought 3 items -- that's 3 more than I was supposed to buy! To makes matters worse, I had a foreboding feeling that my misadventures were far from over. The damage, after all, had been done primarily to my psyche. I already felt as if I had failed. I had not only broken my promise to God and my better half, I had broken my vow to myself that I wouldn't shop for the rest of the month. Now, I would not deserve the rewards that I had promised to myself.

Still inside the mall and a very long way from home, I knew that my first fall would surely not be my last. Especially since I had missed my chance to escape before the massive wave of commuters flooded the roads. I would have to wait it out for another 2 hours before attempting to exit. I was stuck in the lion's den, ensnared by the trap that I had led myself into -- knowingly and, dare I say, purposely? My conscious mind knew what lay ahead, and but it could not fight my body that was pulled hypnotically to the seductive stores where I had dared not to step.

Enticed by a compellingly practical need for well-fitting pants -- after having exhausted my J.Crew options of late -- I wandered into Express, where I had previously found my salvation in the form of the Editor pants. To put it lightly, I was a bit fond of these amazing pants: I owned no less than 15 pairs of Editor pants ranging from work pants to trouser jeans to everyday chinos. Truly the best-fitting pants in the world on my figure, these pants accentuated all the right place while downplaying the rest. The problem was, I had changed sizes a few times and was in need of replacements.

Now, don't get me wrong -- no one makes a nicer wool trouser or cozier cord than J.Crew. But when it comes to denim and day-to-day workhorse pants, I didn't always have the best luck there. Especially lately when it seemed like petite fits were fewer and harder to come by, and besides the obvious length issue, the often generously-cut bottoms presented a lot of unsavory sagging issues. That, and the recent deluge of "easy leg" fits looked like loose sacks on my petite frame. Either that or the matchsticks were much too tight for my solid thighs. The designs that did look promising (mostly last year's) had already been placed in the final sale section online, which is never a good idea for trying on new pants. So, after having returned the last pair of ill-fitting chinos to J.Crew, I thought it best to re-investigate the origin of so many years' worth of great pants.

The salespeople were unusually supportive and helpful, probably because a manager took me under her wing right away. She collected pair after pair in various sizes to help me find the perfect one. After trying on a dozen pairs, I had forgotten how fabulous these pants made my butt look, and how slimming they made my thighs look. My legs looked longer too thanks to the straight fit and just-right flare at the bottom. I knew I had to buy more than one or I would regret it. Beside, the current promotion was buy 2 get 1 free. And the prices -- compared to the full-prices to which I had grown accustomed at J.Crew -- were decidedly easier to swallow. What could I do? I invested in 3 pairs (for the price of 1 J.Crew dress pant, mind you!). At least I would have great pants to wear through the spring, summer, and early fall. Mission accomplished! I felt instantly satisfied at my second success of the day.

Wandered past the Cole Haan store. Recalled that sale items were 30% off and figured I should at least look, given my recent bout with blisters after spending a lot of time on foot with clients. Inspected every pair of Nike Air heels before settling on one perfect pair of chocolate woven-leather midheels whose price was too good to be true: just $48 after the discount! Sprung for them knowing that they would come in very handy and save me many hours of discomfort. Thought of which new pants to pair with them first. Surprisingly, didn't feel that guilty at my impulse buy on the grounds that I really needed a great pair of dark brown work pumps and this price was truly remarkable for the unbeatable comfort and quality of Cole Haan Nike Air.

Then, I remembered my Holy Grail of coupons which, at this point, was burning a hole through my purse and threatening to expire in a day: 25% off at Coach. Treading very cautiously and with already-growing remorse, I hesitantly entered the Coach store with half-shut eyes trying nervously to avoid eye contact with sales associates. Such a clean, uncluttered store, with so many beautiful creations to gaze upon! The feel of the sumptuous new Parker Collection leather, the smell of the Coach perfume solid, the sharp looking Madison spectator bags, the shiny objects galore... Add to that the valuable 25% coupon that only arrives in the mail once a season... I....must.....resist.....must....turn....around....NOW!

But wait! What was that adorable little keyfob hanging innocently at the counter, in the very back of the store? Why, it was a cute little bunny with real mink fur tufting out of its tail - how precious! Especially since "Bunny" was my namesake and a source of endless gag gifts received over the years, especially around Easter and, especially from my friend Anna. How could I walk away from such a sweet little treat? Had I not successfully resisted last year's Kate Spade bunny keychain? And wasn't this one so much cuter with it's little white fur tail?

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen writes in Child Psychology that giving in to temptation is "a self-fulfilling prophecy." Citing a study that found that college students who had been asked to talk about their vices ended up giving into their desires to commit the vices, she concluded "the study participants thought they'd succumb, so they did. Resisting temptation was difficult because of their thought processes."

Pawlik-Kienlen goes on to suggest:

"If acting on your thoughts can work against you (by causing you to succumb to temptation), it can certainly work for you (helping you resist temptation)... To resist temptation, turn temptation around. Instead of thinking about not eating chocolate chip cookies, focus on eating fresh fruit or veggies, or going out for a walk or run... Instead of focusing on not gambling, think about other ways to spend your money... Instead of thinking about not surfing the internet, consider the benefits of sleeping all night long or spending time with family or friends... Give yourself healthy, fun treats like going to the beach or watching a funny play or performance. Take an afternoon off work or treat yourself to a manicure or pedicure. When you resist temptation, celebrate!"

At this point, I had all but talked myself into committing my next vice. Knowing that it was already priced so reasonably and having the additional discount would make the temptation all the more unavoidable. And let's face it, if I was going to blow $45 on a manicure and pedicure to avoid giving into this one last temptation, I might as well just buy it and have something to show for my money. This would be my very last transgression before getting back on the wagon. Really.

Well, not really. I felt a giant wave of shame mixed with sudden fear at the thought of coming home with illicitly begotten items. Instead of sprinting to my car, I made a slight detour through the candy store (the representation of my uninhibited urge to spend, perhaps?). Knowing the way to my beloved's heart, I assembled a tall pile of our favorite Italian candy bars: Kinder Bueno, the hazelnut paste-filled wafer covered in chocolate, made by Ferrero. Armed with my peace offering, I made a beeline for the garage and unloaded the goods into my car. Walking in the door of my house about 30 minutes later, I strategically brandished the bag of candy, knowing that DH wouldn't be able to resist.

"I got you something," I chirped sweetly to my significant other.

Not falling for it, he retorted, "What did you get for yourself?" Guiltily swishing my J.Crew bag around, I faced him with downcast eyes and presented the package for him to inspect. Usually, he's somewhat excited (okay, curious) to find out what "kills" I've brought home from my shopping adventures. But probably disgusted at my utter lack of faithfulness to my promise, this time, he just sighed and sent me to my room to unpack my baggage. Which, I might add, was mysteriously missing a few bags from, say, Coach, Cole Haan, and Express. Striving to avoid confrontation from my outrageous act of rebellion, I had stealthily consolidated all the goods into one bag and re-wrapped everything in tissue for good measure.

My guilt bore down on me like a ton of bricks that evening. My dissatisfaction with myself was matched only by the bad taste in my mouth from knowing that I had ruined my chance to shop at the big upcoming J.Crew event. Alone in my dressing room making space for all my new acquisitions, I pondered my future as a hopeful mother: how would I ever teach my children to avoid the perilous temptations that loomed ahead if I, as an adult, could hardly control my own pocketbook?

Day 21:
Took up compulsive housecleaning instead of compulsive shopping. Washed 6 loads of laundry, decluttered my office, scrubbed the pots and pans, tidied up the kitchen, collected all the recyclables, and cleaned my room. Decided to start fresh, despite the previous day's disasters.

Rummaged through my closet and pulled out a couple dozen pieces of unneeded items and several shoes. Folded everything into 3 giant shopping bags and lugged them to the local consignment store. The owner was delighted to see me after a prolonged absense. I explained that I was there to sell, however. But after she sorted through my goods with relish and gave me good reason to believe that stuff would actually sell, I felt guilty about not buying something... especially since I had barged in on a busy Saturday unannounced without an appointment and unloaded a large number of items. I thought it was only the right thing to do, to buy one small thing.

After a 20-minute search through the store's 3 levels in an enchanting historic rowhouse off the main street, I turned up a pair of to-die-for jeans that fit me like a glove. Thrilled at the prospect of bringing home yet another pair of fabulous pants -- already in a petite length and in my favorite dark denim to boot -- I was further overjoyed when the owner offered me a seller's discount, bringing my total to around $50. Which, for almost-new expensive denim that made my derriere look like a million and my legs a mile long, wasn't bad.

Just when I was paying, honey called to check in on me. "I'm just finishing up," I proclaimed. I let him grill me on the day's damages. He chastised me halfheartedly but later asked to see my new purchase. After trying on the jeans for him, he must have liked what he saw, because he not only complimented the fit but left the subject of my purchase largely undiscussed. Although I felt bad for buying when I was supposed to be back on the wagon, I felt really good for bringing in so many things to sell. Even better when I learned that any unsold goods would go to my favorite charities.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow to get back on the wagon for good...

Day 22:
Made French toast again but this time it came out burnt. Probably due to the new bread I had used. And the fact that my mind was elsewhere.

Stared at my full J.Crew online cart while savoring my post-burnt toast coffee. Knew that I had purposely missed two great discount codes in row, but now I didn't know for what purpose exactly. Decided to post my wish list so I could stare at it somewhere other than the J.Crew site for the next 2 weeks. Also hoped it would serve as sufficient motivation to avoid all forms of retail temptation, both physical and web-based.

Went to church again to face God. The priest really drove the point home as he expounded on the day's readings: the 10 Commandments. Though shall not covet. Thou shall not commit idolatry. Thou shall not bear false witness. Guilty, guilty, and guilty. Felt better after confessing and asking for forgiveness. Went to the grocery store afterward to replenish our food supply. Vowed to finally resume volunteering after a year-long lapse.

Day 23:
Felt hopeless and just plain bad following the weekend's shopping catastrophes and the third straight day of rain. So bad, that I could not muster one ounce of self control to prevent me from placing the Cole Haan order that had been sitting in my cart. The shoes that I absolutely needed -- because they went with everything in my wardrobe and were a high enough heel to wear with my long pants -- were on sale and actually available in my size (no small feat, no pun intended). And if I was going to take advantage of the 30% discount plus free shipping, today was the last day.

What the hell, I'm firmly off the wagon anyway. Might as well get the shoes that will end all shoes. As well the superfly sporty wedge sandals that I've been eyeing for months for good measure. In both colors. Maybe they'll make me happy when my husband finally divorces me. Maybe I can work in the Cole Haan store for extra money. Prayed that at least one pair wouldn't fit me so I would have to return them.

Made one tiny breakthrough: Emailed the place where I used to volunteer and told them I wanted to volunteer again. Asked them to call me to discuss times and needs.

Day 24:
Felt bad again, but sought serious help. Realized I wasn't going to be able to do this alone. Decided to investigate outside support.

Googled "shopaholics anonymous" and "shopaholics anonymous meetings" but to no avail. I mean, there are hundreds of entries, but none that I was looking for.

Did you know that there are loads of "Debtors Anonymous" groups in just about every region which meet regularly? I took the self-test they offered. Only answered "yes" to 3.5 out of 15 questions. Further examined the 12 "Signs of Compulsive Debting." Could only identify with 3 of the 12 signs. Not sure if this is group is going to help me get to the root of my problem.

Kept searching. Found a "Spenders Anonymous" group that seemed slightly more promising. Didn't answer "yes" to to more than 3 of the 13 questions to determine if I was a spender, but definitely identified with the stories of recovering compulsive spenders. Unfortunately, couldn't find any chapters in my region, let alone my metropolitan area. No online support groups available, either.

Came across Gambler's Anonymous, Clutterers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Smokers Anonymous, Schizophrenics Anonymous, and Workaholics Anonymous, to name a few.

Gave in and surfed around the spuriously named site of Shopaholics Anonymous. Spurious because 1) this is not an actual support group for fellow compulsive shoppers, 2) there's not much anonymity in printing the name of the person who's in charge of the so-called support group, or the name of various celebrities who have allegedly been helped by him, 3) the entire mission and mantras of most "anonymous" groups modeled after AA is to help individuals for free instead of charging them for therapy, 4) most "anonymous" groups attract new members by word of mouth rather than self-promotion, and 5) any group that claims to represent "anonymous" does not hold public conferences.

Furthermore, I failed to see the connection between the forces that drive shoplifting or employee theft and those that drive shopaholics. Apparently Dr. Shulman believes that he can appeal to all three groups with one website.

Disgusted though I was by the lack of an actual and aptly-named "shopaholics anonymous" support group (at least in the D.C. Metro area), I did take Dr. Shulman's advice on reading two books he recommends for compulsive shoppers: To Buy or Not to Buy and I Shop, Therefore I Am by April Lane Benson. Both are available on Amazon and received very high reader ratings.

Also, contacted Spenders Anonymous to find out if we could start some meetings in my area. Felt much better instantly.

Received an autoresponse an hour later from Spenders Anonymous telling me that they received my email and that, if I'm writing to inquire about meetings in my area (as most people inquire, check the website for a complete list of meeting locations. If there is not a meeting in my area, they suggested that I attend other 12-step programs, or, start my own meetings using the materials they have available online.

Felt a little deflated. Obviously, given some organizations statistics that up to 25% of the U.S. population has problems with compulsive spending, it boggles the mind that there are not more support systems available.

Decided that, until I find something better, it might make sense to attend at least a couple of Debtors Anonymous meetings. Penciled in the hourlong "Shoppers Night In" meeting for this Friday evening.

Set off to (gulp) pay one of my credit card bills (the most massive one) at the store. Nothing like a big fat reality check to quell a shopping urge. Was accosted by rows and rows of bright floral motifs and found it nearly impossible to walk straight to the cash register and back to pay my bill. Tried to run out of the store when I was done but was pulled in by the enchanting smell of flowers and pretty Clinique Happy Bloom perfume bottle. Had to test it. Two salesgirls immediately rushed to my aid and informed me that the perfume comes with the most darling miniature flower compact that contains the most gorgeously flattering shade of pink lip gloss. And, they were starting to take reservations for the upcoming Clinique Bonus. Help! I must get out of here!

Instead, I moved in closer to inspect the promising-looking new Clinique Even Better Makeup foundation with SPF 15. Lately, my skin had been flaky and dry no matter how much I exfoilated and moisturized day and night with my normally nourishing Lancome Primordiale day and night creams. I was also experiencing some redness issues due to allergies and dryness. These issues had been rendering my trusty mineral powder foundation useless of late.

The Clinique consultants went to town on my face. First, one dusted a hefty dose of the yellow-tinted Redness Solutions Instant Relief Mineral Powder on one side of my face. Instantly, my compexion went from red to perfectly balanced. On the other half of my face, another blended the Even Better foundation in precisely my color. It transformed my flaking red visage into a glowing, warm, and even-toned countenance. Both products helped tremendously, but the liquid foundation imparted much-need moisture and luminosity that the powder just couldn't match. It also had an added benefit of minimizing my lines and blemishes. The consultants proceeded to give me an unexpected makeover. A girl who was shopping in the store actually stopped to compliment me on my complexion.

Sold! I had to have this magic potion. But I knew I couldn't wait 13 more days for the bonus to start. On the other hand, I do hate missing those bonuses, especially when they were giving away a fetching floral case full of interesting new products like the Blushwear Cream Stick and a Youth Surge Moisturizer. What to do? I pressed the consultant for a sample of the new foundation. She complied and made me a little sample jar with my exact shade. How nice of her! I conceded and agreed to buy a mascara now, since I was running out. Besides, it was cheap and wouldn't come close to getting me the bonus gift. But I promised that I would try the foundation at home and return in 2 weeks to buy a full sized bottle during Bonus Time. She seeemed placated enough.

Left the store and made it home without doing any more damage. Swiped my hand through the mailbox on my way in the house and out fell a temptation: 30% off anything at Cole Haan. Now, I realize that I had just illicitly ordered 3 pairs of shoes online with the 30% off sale items discount, but this was 30% off the new, full-priced items! This season's offerings were proving to be very hard to resist with the elegant new Phoebe handbag collection and Huarache open-toed pumps. I had also been seriously craving the new cobra embossed wedge thong for summer. Must not buy! Must be good!

Day 25:
Tried my new magic potion sample from Clinique. Surprisingly, the results turned out to be just as amazing as the day before. I was so happy with my glowing face and proud of myself for applying it properly with the foundation brushed using the technique that the consultant had shown me yesterday, I almost forgot about the shopping I wasn't doing.

Naturally, the feeling of contentment didn't last long. Got an email from a friend who finally wanted to take me up on a shopping trip. I had contacted her previously about taking her shopping to help her revamp her wardrobe, now that she was getting married and approaching the big 3-oh in a year (ah, the young and carefree...). She offered to meet this weekend and go to J.Crew (at my suggestion). Debated on whether or not to risk it but decided that, if I shopped vicariously through her, it wouldn't count against me -- would it?

Calculated how much I still owed after having made a solid dent with yesterday's payment. The problem is, I've been making sold dents each month, but I keep rebuilding the debts shortly after I pay them.

Wondered if that ingenius trick from the Confessions of a Shopaholic movie would work: freeze my credits cards to keep them out of easy reach. Actually went to dunk them in a bowl of water and stick them in the freezer, but then had second thoughts. What if I needed to use my J.Crew card when I took my friend shopping this weekend? What if I needed an emergency beauty product at Macy's?

Tried to remember if I had offered to actually buy clothes for my friend or just help her shop. Made a mental note to see if my hubby (who was conveniently old friends with this friend and hence my connection to her) would pony up some cash instead. Also made a note to write down my Macy's card number on a Post-It note just in case I had to make an unexpected run to the cosmetic counter. Then recalled that my card was expiring at the end of the month anyway and the new card that I had received a month ago was still sitting in my room waiting to be activated. Debated on whether or not to freeze that card too, in case temptation overcame me. Decided against it.

Checked the daily blogs. Oh no! Another 20% off discount at J.Crew, this time on final sale items! It was hard enough to refrain from buying any of the new full-priced spring items at 20% off last week, but I didn't know if I had it in me to resist 20% off already low sale items that have been sitting in my cart for weeks. Re-opened the J.Crew window in my browser after vowing to keep it closed for as long as possible. Took inventory of the 12 items currently in my cart. Seriously considered atl least 3 of them that I had been watching for the past couple of months. Another huge decision to make....

Obsessed and obsessed and obsessed over it all day. Couldn't get two particular sweaters out of my mind. Pictured myself in them constantly. Planned all the ways to incorporate them into my wardrobe. It was driving me insane. I know that I shouldn't be spending any money period. But I felt like it was going to eat me alive if I obsessed any more.

Resolved to just get one sweater, stop obsessing, empty my cart, and close the J.Crew browser window for the rest of the week (or as long as absolutely possible). The $80 was worth that peace of mind, and I hoped it would give me the resolute determination I badly needed to stay away for the rest of the month.

Day 26:
When I was growing up, my parents bought Murphy's Law calendars and related paraphernalia year after year. Not because we were Irish (at least not by birth, though we were for some inexplicable reason "adopted" by numerous Irish families throughout my childhood and early adult years). Largely, Murphy's Law was well-suited to our household because it was agreeable to my parents' wry sense of humor and belief in a divine figure with an even bigger sense of humor. The witty platitudes and free-flowing alcohol helped both go down more easily. I should point out that neither Drs. Spock nor Suess figured prominently in my upbringing.

Feely mildly sarcastic, I formulated my own Murphy's Laws:

1. The best discounts come to those who don't need them.
2. The less time or inclination one has to shop, the better the discounts will be.
3. Coupons either come all at once or none at all.
Corollary: When you're praying for one to come, it won't come. When you are sick to death of them, they won't stop coming.
4. When you've got money to spend and an eagerness to buy something good, nothing will be available in your size or color.
Corollary: When you're desperately trying not to shop and praying that nothing good will jump out at you, everything you've ever wanted is available not only in your size and color, but also at a can't-miss price.

Such was my mood as I stared back at the beaming models on the J.Crew site that beckoned me to throw caution to the wind and "Just Do It." That is, just buy something already and stop being tormented by indecision.

I sought temporary relief from my shopping itch, along with a side of wisdon. Googling "help for compulsive shoppers," I came across several good discussions from various sources. I stumbled upon this simple, easy-to-follow advice from University Credit Union in an article entitled Tough Times Series: It Was Such a Bargain: Help for Compulsive Shoppers:

"Studies show that females still make the majority of family purchases, and that shopping is considered a socially accepted female practice--you know, "retail therapy."

Women who are compulsive shoppers generally purchase clothes, shoes, and kitchen items. The small percentage of men who compulsively shop tend to splurge on computers, electronics, power tools, and even investments. (Male spenders more often tend to be compulsive gamblers.)

... "Money is not the issue and income level is not the issue," [Dr. Donald] Black [a psychiatrist and a professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa, Iowa City] says. "I've had poor patients with no money who go to garage sales and hardly spend anything. Their finances aren't impacted, but they're spending every free minute doing this."

On the other hand, someone could be a multimillionaire and have plenty of money to spend. This person isn't getting into trouble financially, but maybe she's spending so much time shopping that she's ignoring her children. The behavior will not always lead to a financial problem--it depends on the individual.

Ann, an upper middle-class housewife, spent numerous hours frequenting second-hand stores checking "if anything new had come in." She was constantly looking for that special item that would make a set complete or that she thought would add to her wardrobe or décor.

After years of accumulation, Ann's house was cluttered with her "bargain" purchases. Rented storage units were so packed that, when she needed an item, she couldn't find it. Garments with tags still on them lined her several closets.

Because Ann shopped at thrift stores and only purchased "sale" items at other stores, she thought that justified her spending. But bargain shopping added up fast--so fast that Ann soon was rushing home to get the mail before her husband could so he wouldn't see her credit card statements."

Here is how the article recommends preventing "Shopping Binges":

- Pay for purchases by cash, check, or debit card.
- Make a shopping list and only buy what's on it.
- Put financial goals in writing so you have something to "save" for.
- Get rid of department store credit cards; carry one major credit card for emergencies.
- Record every dollar you spend and your feelings about each purchase.
- Avoid discount warehouses; allocate a certain amount of cash to spend if you do shop at one.
- Avoid catalog ordering and watching TV shopping channels; throw out mail-order catalogs immediately after you receive them. If you must order through the mail, send a check instead of using a credit card where it's easy to overspend. Mark the purchases you're interested in and wait a few days before actually ordering to see if you really still want that item.
- Take a walk or exercise when the urge to shop comes on.
- Find a money mentor; look for a friend or colleague who spends and saves wisely and ask for advice.
- If you feel out of control, you probably are. Seek counseling or a support group.

This made a whole lot of sense to me. I mulled over those thoughts that day as I pondered how to get back on the wagon again, and this time, stay there for good.

But first, please, please, please just let me buy that one last sweater....?

Day 27:
Never heard back from the volunteer group. Never received a follow-up response from Spenders Anonymous. Saw that I was tentatively scheduled to attend tonight's Debtor's Anonymous meeting when I checked my Outlook calendar and recalled a prior engagement for the evening -- a bon voyage happy hour for a friend who was taking a distant journey. Oh well, I mused. Better luck next week.

Couldn't get the stupid J.Crew sweater out of my head. Yes, it's a piece of woven cashmere, but it was proving to be of utmost importance to my sanity at this point. It wasn't just any old sweater: it was my all-time favorite cardigan in my all-time favorite color in my size (and in the shrunken fit I preferred). Checked my J.Crew cart and saw that, wonder of wonders, it was still sitting in my cart after 12 days. Other final sale items had long exited my cart, but this sweater remained, despite being marked down to a perfectly acceptable price. Surely this was a sign. I simply couldn't rationalize why getting my favorite sweater -- that I was planning to buy since it came out -- at an additional 20% final sale price was a bad idea.

Telepathically, J.Crew reached out to me by telephone. I received a call from my store letting me know that a jacket I had dropped off a while back for alterations was ready to pick up. I told them I'd be in that day to pick it up.

Meanwhile, I waited and waited all day for the FedEx truck to drop off my Cole Haan shoes that I had ordered four days ago. Formulated another Murphy's Law:

5. An impatiently awaited delivery will arrive at the very last possible moment of the day.
Corollary: The one day of the month your spouse goes into work a tad late or takes the afternoon off, the package will arrive promptly when he opens the front door.

Hadn't heard back yet from my friend who had contacted me three days ago about going shopping. Called and left a message asking her if she wanted to go this weekend so I could pick up my jacket.

Didn't hear back from anyone else I was waiting to hear back from either, and I needed to get going so I could get my errands done and still make this evening's social engagement. Also remembered that I needed a manicure. Decided to swing by the mall to get my nails done and to pick up my jacket. Then, I would head over to the party.

I was on the way out the door when my friend called me back about shopping. She said this weekend worked for her, so we agreed to meet the next day. Decided to postpone my J.Crew visit until tomorrow. I was slightly relieved that I wouldn't have to go to the mall alone today.

Then, as I again set out for errands and a manicure, the blasted Cole Haan package arrived. Naturally, my husband was now home and expecting his own FedEx package of books that he had ordered. So when he announced excitedly that the FedEx truck was outside and ran out to collect his books, I darted out behind him and rushed to meet the delivery man. He appeared to be carrying two packages: a large box and a small, slim box, which looked like it contained books. My hubby guessed right away that something was amiss.

"That's an awfully large box... I don't remember ordering that many books," he accused. He pushed me back inside while he signed for the packages -- I mean package. It appeared that his books didn't arrive, so the other slim box must have been for a neighbor. However, he lost no time in tearing open my box and inspecting the contents.

"Shoes?" he exclaimed. "You are very, very, very bad!" he continued with disgust dripping in his voice. He examined all three boxes before deciding that neither the shoes nor I were worth any more of his time today.

I had no excuse whatsoever to offer up except that I needed comfortable shoes so we could start taking walks again. That, and I told him they were really cheap with my discount. He didn't look like he cared, and frankly, I didn't blame him.

I proceeded to try on each pair, praying all the while that they would be either ugly or ill-fitting. Well, at least 2 out of 3 didn't fit (and one of those wasn't that pretty). I can't recall a time when I felt more elated that shoes didn't fit me. As I wrapped up and re-boxed the unwanted pairs, I felt highly relieved that I was returning the 2 pricier pairs and that the 3rd pair I was keeping was not only exceptionally practical but relatively inexpensive at $66 (especially for Cole Haan Nike Air). I committed myself to restarting my daily walking regimen with my new superfly sporty wedge sneakers. And I felt that I had (at least temporarily) gotten shoe shopping out of my system.

But that bloody J.Crew sweater kept re-appearing in front of my eyes. What the hell, I conceded. I'm just going to put myself out of my misery. Bit the bullet and ordered it. At least now I could hope to enjoy a peaceful weekend with family and friends without being assaulted by the persistent nag of remorse at having missed the sweater. Vowed to remove everything else from my J.Crew cart and re-close the browser window. Also forced myself to close eBay, which had *mysteriously* re-opened following my ill-fated searches for various J.Crew items.

Enjoyed a convivial evening with a group of social girls. Bid a proper bon voyage to the would-be traveler and enjoyed some yummy appetizers with a couple of glasses of wine. As this was a well-dressed and shopping-friendly gang, the repartee briefly turned to our latest adventures. I tried to listen to others' tales for a change instead of dominating the conversation with my own shopping exploits. It felt good. The wine also felt quite good and had the added effect of making me feel confident and happy. By the time I got home, the urge to shop had faded and I was able to spend the remainder of the evening in quiet bliss in front of the TV with my hubby without constantly wondering if I should check the sales.

Day 28:
We met some friends for a fun day of beer-making at Shenandoah Brewing Company. I had never tried it before, but at the invitation of my friend and her boyfriend, we met them and several of their friends for this interesting experience. While I considered myself more of a wine connoisseur and frequented many wineries and wine-tastings, I did enjoy a good beer now and then, particularly with certain cold-weather foods to which I now gravitated again during our "cool" spell.

I have to say, it was more fun that a barrel of, well, beer! The process of selecting the exact recipe, compiling and measuring all the ingredients, starting the brew, and mixing it took about 3 hours. During the lulls, the eight of us played cards while downing endless pitchers of various freshly brewed blends plus all the soft pretzels and chili dogs we could hold. It was also fun to make new friends, whom we'll see in another four weeks when we return to bottle our custom beer. Everyone was so down-to-earth and the employees were swell. They even had toys and a play area for kids.

Note to single gals: if ever there was a place to pick up red-blooded and only mildly intoxicated men without wheezing through walls of smoke or enduring cheesy pick-up lines, this is definitely it! Although my crowd consisted primarily of couples, there were plenty of all-guy groups that looked friendly and ready to mingle. With plenty of downtime during the brewing process, this place is much less noisy than a bar for carrying on a conversation -- and much cleaner to boot.

Later, I took my friend shopping at J.Crew. Had to remind myself several times that we were going to shop for her, not for me. And, my DH was kind enough to offer up some cash to help me buy her an outfit on the grounds that 1) I didn't buy anything for myself, and 2) I didn't put anything else on my J.Crew credit card. I accepted it since he was an old friend of the girl's, and it was he who came up with the idea of taking her shopping in the first place.

We had am amazing shopping experience! Though it wasn't an easy few hours -- mostly spent running in and out of the J.Crew dressing room grabbing handfuls of possibilities for my friend to try on -- it was well worth it. The process was wrought with strong emotions and deep insecurities, much like an episode of What Not To Wear. Truly, every single girl on the planet believes that clothes just aren't made for her body type and that no pants exist that could flatter her figure. In addition, it often takes no small amount of cajoling and bargaining to get people to try on cuts and colors that they would never otherwise consider. The efforts of Susan, the J.Crew personal shopper, cannot be overstated. Her patience and good eye helped us to finally amass a worthwhile collection and, together, we put together a few key ensembles. The transformation was dramatic: frumpy free-spirit to fabulous femme fatale.

My friend was grateful for the help and confident in her new outfits. I kept my fingers crossed that her self-image would soar dramatically as a result, and also that the effort would continue into the future.

There was another big accomplishment that day: I didn't buy anything. Now one single thing. And this is my favorite store we're talking about! Part of the success was due to my steadfast determination to focus on someone other than myself. The other credit goes in no small part to the store associates who persisted in preventing me from buying anything, having read my blog. Can you believe it? J.Crew is now looking out for my spending habits! At least since it will likely affect how much I am able to buy at the big private shopping event in one week.

I felt so good when I came hope late that evening. Tired, but good. My hubby was proud of me too, and made me report the play-by-play of the shopping experience. The feeling of doing good and being good was a strong motivation for me. I realized that, if I believed that I could be good, I would continue to be good. I also looked with renewed hope toward the big day when I would be allowed to shop. I somehow felt more powerful knowing that, when I have something to look forward to, I will savor it more. And I had every intention of going back to that store in one week with a set amount of cash and a definite budget so I would not go overboard (or use my J.Crew card).

Though the previous two weeks were full of ups and downs, I felt strong as I prepared to enter the final week of my shopping fast...

Lessons of a Shopaholic Part 2: Days 1-14 in Shopping Rehab

2009-03-19T11:34:00.015-04:00

Day 1:
Found the strength to fold up, bag, and set aside most of the previous day's outlet finds. Also assembled half of my last J.Crew order and a few other assorted items from various stores. Set up a neat little pile of shopping bags in the living room to remind myself to return them at the next opportunity.

Day 2:
Sought out support. Starting a week earlier, I saw that some of my shopping buddies -- including some fellow J.Crew Aficionadas -- were "trying to quit" too. Slastena was one of the first, and she motivated at least a few others on her blog. This gave me a boost of conviction. I thought, if we all encourage each other, maybe we can all pull through together. I announced it officially, calling it my "shopping fast." I planned to finally do what I had tried for years but failed: I would give up shopping for Lent. Surely, God himself would help me with such a worthwhile cause.

So pleased was I with my decision to quit shopping (at least for Lent) that I even found the courage to confess it to my better half. "Wow," he responded cautiously, "That's great news. I think it's a wonderful idea." He had, after all, been burned many times by such failed promises in the past. But I assured him, "I'm giving it up for Lent." Perhaps the knowledge that I was doing it for God rather than just for him or for myself gave me a shred of added credibility. If I could stop shopping for 40 days, there was hope that I may one day cure my obsessiveness and even return to healthy shopping habits in the future.

In the famous words of Confucius, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Had I not already undertaken two important steps on the road to shopaholic recovery? First, I recognized that I had a problem, and then, I sought help.

Day 3:
Plotted the first stage of a sell-a-thon of the "unnecessary" contents in my closet. I have to say that I found this more painful than my usual pre-holiday sell-off on eBay (to buy presents). I mean, I had given away dozens of boxfulls of clothes, shoes, and accessories to friends, relatives, and charities in previous months (about triple what I normally donate each year), and any additional unwanted items quickly found themselves on the J.Crew Aficionada Great Weekly Exchange to be sold or traded and hastily and sent off to a better home.

Thus I found it rather difficult to go into my closet and select stuff that I actually liked and didn't want to part with but was only selling because I needed the money. But for the purposes of parting with them graciously, I reluctantly deemed them "unnecessary" compared to the items I'd get clinically depressed about if I gave away. Despite these parting pains, I forged onward with the sell-off. It was for a good cause, after all. It gave me great satisfaction to add up each $20, $50, and $100 and subtract it from my current credit card balance. It also had the unexpected perk of taking up a good deal of my time -- an annoyance no doubt, but time nonetheless that would normally be spent trolling the web for sales and new goodies to acquire.

The subsequent steps, however, would prove to be more difficult that I imagined.

Days 4-8:
Work to the rescue! I toiled from the wee hours of the morning to late at night, barely surviving on limited sleep and small rations of caffeinated beverages. On the road constantly and meeting with clients daily, taking care of business meant no time for shopping. No time to even think about shopping. Took advantage of the workaholic vibe by neglecting to bring up any catalogs that had collected on the counter from the past days.

Day 9:
Pummeled by a major snowstorm. Expected 8 inches and actually got it -- even in my town which rarely gets hit by the region's severe weather. Clients finally left and I (thankfully) didn't have any meetings. Which was good, because just about everything in D.C. shut down. Even Alexandria City schools, which never shut down. Goes without saying that my office was closed.

Wasn't off the hook for work, however. Still put in a full 10-hour day at home, continuing to finish the previous days' projects by deadline. Tried not to think about shopping. So tired, I abstained from reading the new J.Crew catalog that had come in the mail and was already waiting on my bedside table (thanks, dear!).

Day 10:
"I can resist everything but temptation," quipped Oscar Wilde. Truly, temptation is the linchpin that proves to be the undoing of many recovering addicts. But how to resist the ever-present siren call of things to buy at must-buy prices?

Homebound due to the still-present snow and now widespread ice, stayed home since hubby took my car to work. Finally finished the massive workload and ended the workday at normal hours. Decided to leaf through a few of the enticing new catalogs that had flooded the mailbox and were piling up on the counter.

Also opened up the multiple envelopes from stores that had streamed in over the past week. Uh oh... Fished out coupon after coupon from my absolute favorite stores. First my DSW rewards (free money!), then the Boden catalogue with its bewitching models (and equally bewitching 15% off).

Sat back down to finally catch up on my personal emails. Bad idea! Opened message after message containing such dangerous offers as 30% off at Cole Haan (a much anticipated one for me as I had found during my latest multi-day hoofing that I desperately needed more Nike Air dress shoes), $15 off at Piperlime, 25% off at Gap, plus freebies from Nine West, Macy's, and more. "So far so good, I assured myself. Nothing to go crazy about here. I'm sure Cole Haan will have another 30% one day..."

Day 11:
Had a relapse.

The day started with the arrival of the holy grail of coupons in the mail, ushering in a new level of anxiety: 25% off anything at Coach. Oh, the agony! Oh, the torture! Oh the moral dilemma! How could I resist the new Parker collection when it's priced so well and is just the perfect thing for my work and personal needs? How could I not take advantage of a solid 25% off the exquisite new trenches in mouthwatering colors that I had been watching so carefully? My blood pressure skyrocketed as I dared to tempt fate by going to the Coach website to take a small peek.

Youch! Shouldn't have done that. Now I would be obsessing for the next week straight. Good thing the coupon didn't start for another 2 days. Maybe that would give me some time to calm down and gather my senses. Decided to get out of the house on my first day with the car back. Obviously, being housebound for the last 2 days wasn't doing my willpower any favors.

Ran out to finally return the pile of bags that had sat uncollected on my living room floor. Had to hit J.Crew, Coach, DSW, and TJ Maxx. This would be the ultimate test -- could I, a recovering addict with just 10 days under my belt, survive a trip to the lion's den? Only one way to find out.

First stop: J.Crew. Rushed over to a different J.Crew, far, far away. Knew that if I went to my J.Crew on the day that my manager was working, I wouldn't stand a chance. Made a beeline for the cash register, averted my eyes from the amazingly arranged tables, and successfully returned the goods. Phew!

DSW: Nothing new, and I didn't really want to take the time to check out the clearance section. Stood in line for a long time and finally got rid of the oversized bag I'd been holding.

Next stop: Coach outlet. All I can say is, thank goodness this wasn't the real thing. If it was, I would have broken down and bought something, because that coupon was burning a hole in my pocket (I mean Coach purse). Fortunately, the outlet hadn't gotten anything new in since my last fateful visit, and much of the previous stuff had been cleaned out. Felt much better about not buying anything. Did a half-hearted tour of the store before marching up to the register and laying out my returns on the counter. Managed some feeble story about having just bought 2 bags at the Coach store for full price. The associates asked me how I liked the new Parker collection. Saw stars in my eyes for a moment as I dreamed silently about the new Parker bag on my wish list. Replied with a polite "It's amazing! What gorgeous designs!" and ran out of the store as soon as I signed the return slip.

Last stop of the day: TJ Maxx. Either it was the heady scent of blossoms drifting toward me from all the new spring bath products, or, the emporium of cheap thrills that called out to me from the pleasingly jumbled racks. Whatever it was, my defenses broke down. Of all the places to fall of the wagon, this seemed absurdly unlikely. And yet, I could resist neither the myriad candy-colored treats nor the heaping shelves of luscious floral scents. I sprung for a lovely vat of pink peony hand soap and a hot pink hoodie to match.

As soon as I got home that evening, my better half inspected my packages. "You fell off the wagon, didn't you?" he interrogated me, seeing the conspicuous Coach J.Crew shopping bags.

"No," I implored, "Those are empty. I was just returning." But the look on my face must have given away my guilt, because he made me unpack each shopping bag "just in case." Out fell the hoodie and the hand soap.

"You fell off the wagon for soap?" he challenged. "That's really pathetic!" I knew that already. But now, I felt like a recovering alcoholic desperately trying to get my fix through rubbing alcohol--ashamed, but too desperate to care.

He continued, "I'm willing to overlook your temporary lapse in judgement. If you return these tomorrow, they won't count against you."

"Um, okay...." I trailed off, not knowing if going back to the store that caused my downfall was such a good idea. Went to bed that night questioning my ability to resist serious temptation when I couldn't even resist peony hand soap.

Day 12:
Took the day off work, and so did my hubby. We slept in a little, had good coffee, and savored the mid-day sun in my sunroom/office. Then, for reasons that logic cannot explained, the following words were heard exiting DH's mouth: "Let's go to the mall."

Come again? This was, after all, a man who avoided the mall at all costs, making me buy all his clothing, shoes, and even his video games oftentimes. I checked his head for a fever but all seemed normal.

"I want to look at electronics. And we can grab lunch afterwards," he offered. "Oh, and I want to make sure you make good on yesterday's indiscretions and return those items." Well, okay then - no argument from me!

So off we went, making the rounds to all said places. I even convinced him to stop into J.Crew to meet the "family." After a very late lunch, we wandered around like high school mall rats playing hooky. It felt quite exhilarating and naughty. The mood must have gotten to him too, because he suggested that we make a detour past Vickies on our way out.

"You could definitely use some new underwear," he declared, clearly showing off that he had actually read my recent post on the subject. Again, no argument from me. I pranced delightedly through the store examining various specimens of lingerie in delicate silks and high-tech materials. Finally, I settled on 3 pairs of lacy hiphuggers in dainty shades of pink and coral.

Score! The rewards of not shopping had finally kicked in. I got free lunch (though not a particularly appealing one at the food court), a day of browsing, and a sexy present! I vowed to stay on the wagon in the hopes of procuring more gratuitous gifts.

Days 13-14:
The effects of taking one day off piled up on my desk and inbox. Spent the next 2 days catching up on work.

Wondered what the next week had in store for me...

Lessons of a Shopaholic Part 1: A Personal Rehab Saga

2009-03-16T18:48:00.016-04:00

I have a confession to make: My name is 3-Penny Princess, and I'm a Shopaholic.

["Hi, 3-Penny Princess."]

I officially entered shopping rehab and started my own 12-step program to get back to being a responsible citizen. My goals: 1) pay off my shopping debts, 2) cure my obsessive habit, 3) learn to shop in moderation, and 4) not use credits cards unless it's an emergency (and that Chloe bag that I've been eyeing for months finally going on sale for 60% off is not an emergency).

The truth is, it wasn't so long ago that I was a responsible citizen. The temptations were always there, but I found the strength to subdue them. For years I shopped in moderation, bought only what I could afford, and didn't even used credits cards (due to early abuse of my first credit cards in college, an error in judgement that ruined my credit for years). When I finally felt comfortable with the idea of using credit responsibly and learned to pay my credit card balance each month, I felt that I had triumphed as an adult.

Then, at some point -- between being pummeled with an unprecedented year of J.Crew discounts and signing up for every shopping email club on the planet -- I fell off the wagon. Oh, it didn't happen suddenly, mind you. I didn't take a fabulous trip to Europe and go on a shopping spree on the Champs Elysees. I didn't suddenly get the job of my dreams and revamp my entire wardrobe. I didn't even splurge on a brand new Louis Vuitton luggage set or even one single Tiffany diamond necklace. No, the road to depravity is paved with the most trivial of acts: a small indiscretion here, a harmless find there, a can't-miss sale everywhere...

It starts out innocently: you go out to buy one birthday present for your best friend, or a dress to wear to an upcoming wedding. But then you get dazzled by a radiant window display of new springwear that stops you in your tracks. The next thing you know, you're trying on outfits that look so fabulous, they make your pallid winter complexion glow like a Mediterranean goddess, not to mention the inches they subtract from your untoned abs. Besides, with the incredible discounts on top of the irresistible sale prices, it would be a crime not to buy a few things. Just to tide you over until you unpack your real spring wardrobe, which may not happen for a while (I mean, why does it always snow here in March?). The shopgirls buzz around you like worker bees, wrapping efficient little piles of your treasures in bright tissue all the while praising you for your excellent purchases.

Basking in the euphoria that ensues for the next 20 minutes to an hour, you mosey on toward your original goal with a spring in your step and a gleam in your eye, not even noticing when you get pulled in by the intoxicating aroma of tuberose wafting from an undisclosed corner of the perfume counter. Why, of course you deserve a new fragrance. Those overbearing caramelly-vanilla aromas simply won't do for spring! But wait, you gasp, as you make a determined run for the door to veer back to your shopping path -- are those not the most fetching coral beads hanging on that accessories rack next to the vivid new yellow and turquoise baubles? I'll bet they would be just the thing to liven up the new jacket you recently snagged at the end-of-season clearance. And with that steady supply of Macy's coupons that never runs out, the necklace costs almost nothing. It feels so good to find great bargains!

Until you realize that you've already spent $200 and you haven't even looked at what you came in to buy in the first place. Or, you rejoice that you just bought 3 pairs of pants (because we all know what a pain in the fanny it is to find well-fitting pants), but what you really needed were a couple of pairs of comfortable yet chic shoes for your upcoming trip. Or, you swore you wouldn't buy any more sweaters, but then the one you'd been drooling over since fall finally went down to an acceptable sale price and you would have cried if you didn't get it.

All of those very appropriate excuses, I concur, but you're left with one slight problem: you spent more than you expected, and now you have to find the money to buy the stuff you actually need. Like the present for your best friend or the dress to wear to that upcoming wedding. What to do? Looks like you'll have to "borrow" a bit and pay it off next month. And by borrow, I mean take it home today, pay some now, and pay some later. And later. And later. It was not until I was wallowing knee-deep in credit card debt that it occurred to me that I might have a problem.

To be sure, I'm far from the only gal with a *slight* shopping addiction. As exemplified gloriously by the ravishing redhead Isla Fisher in "Confessions of a Shopaholic" -- which helped make our February J.Crew Aficionada outing a major hit -- it's almost expected that a fashionable girl with a flair for the dramatic will have an overflowing closet with an equally overflowing credit card bill. Surely I wasn't the only one who felt an instant kinship with the main character in that movie. Why, beautifully clad mannequins speak to me all the time, beckoning me to enter their dangerous albeit stunningly outfitted boutiques. And who hasn't thrown caution to the wind to take an extra long power-shopping lunch, especially when there's an important sample sale at your favorite store? A fierce shopping habit is nothing to be ashamed of -- it's something to be proud of, like excelling at a hobby or creating artistic masterpieces. It's hard work to create an award-winning wardrobe and to churn out ensemble after killer ensemble, n'est-ce pas?

Why, then, did I feel a slight twinge of guilt after the movie finished? Like many, I had actually applauded the feel-good ending which culminated in a sensational sell-off of the heroine's beloved clothes and accessories. I thought to myself, "Hmmm... maybe she's onto something. Maybe I don't need to shop constantly to be happy." I even plotted ways to re-create the momentous feat in my very own closet. I would simply ferret out as much as possible, sell it off, pay off my sizable credit card debt, and not shop again for a very long time. I mean, surely I could live off a couple dozen pieces and perhaps a modest 5 pairs of shoes, maybe 1-2 bags?

Well, that short burst of motivation lasted for about 2 hours. Then I made it home, checked my email, refreshed the news on my blogs, and came across the latest J.Crew 20% discount. Needless to say, my guilty conscience didn't stand a chance. In no time, I was placing my next order and counting down the days till the package arrived at my doorstep, relishing the sweet feeling of success while at the same time gambling nervously on not being caught again.

But busted I was. As my husband opened the door and stepped out for his early morning cigarette -- mind you, on the one completely unforeseen day that he decided to work from home -- what should fall onto my floor but a fresh, promising J.Crew package, hot off the first delivery truck of the morning? (Damn that early UPS delivery! When the package says it will come tomorrow, why can't it come tomorrow? And for the love of God, why pick this one day to deliver a package at 8:00 in the morning when I usually sit around all afternoon waiting for J.Crew packages to arrive?)

This on the heels of a severe tongue lashing just 2 weeks prior when my husband came home to find an order containing yet another coat plus a skirt, with a not-so-discreetly packed invoice for $300? To really hammer the last nail into my coffin, a second package arrived in the mail the same afternoon with, of course, more J.Crew items, this time snagged off the JCA Weekly Exchange.

That's it, I thought. I'm really toast now. My husband is surely going to take away my credit cards, block all shopping sites from my computer, possibly move us out to the remote country, and force me to give up shopping permanently (or at least until I break out and make a run for the nearest mall). Sure, our marriage is built on the premise that we each have our vices, but there comes a point when enough is enough. And my recent overshopping "incident" in November (for gifts, I swear!) had turned into a habit that was threatening to overtake me for the fourth month in a row. Bracing myself for maximum impact, I sought to appease the gods of domesticity by offering to make an award-winning dinner. Which got turned down, adding to my anxiety about what was to come.

Instead of being served divorce papers or a surprise intervention, something else happened. The next day, my wise better half emailed me a questionnaire from one of his favorite blogs, The Consumerist, entitled "Addicted To Debt? Take Our 15 Question Quiz." He pleaded in the email, "Be honest." So, like the good wife that I am, I faithfully clicked on the link, read the article, and took the test. "Awesome!" I exclaimed after I was finished. According to the test, I'm not even close to addicted to debt. I made haste to reassure my beloved that he needn't worry -- I had no such ailment plaguing me.

And yet, a different feeling gnawed at me. The feeling that something was definitely wrong. Was it shame for blowing off the last incident without nearly enough remorse? Was it the guilty relief that I get when I find out that I'm not in as much trouble as I thought? Or was it something less specific, a mysterious void that fills my head every so often when I can't figure out something? What was really troubling me?

Was it the simple fact that I had overspent my shopping budget in the past 6 months (by about $5,000)? If so, that was easily fixable. Not easily, mind you, but nothing that a dedicated year of diligent payments couldn't alleviate. Or, was it the relative apathy that I felt about my current financial situation -- the situation being that I now routinely overspend and don't think the slightest thing of it? What was wrong with me that I no longer cared about my carefully constructed budget and was content to constantly swipe my card to bring home the next coveted thing?

Maybe it was my utter lack of self-discipline that ultimately prevented me from restraining myself anymore? Had my female hormones finally taken over to the point where my mind was driven entirely by thoughts of shoes, bags, coats, sweaters, and shiny objects?

I shuddered at the thought. I was always one of those girls who kept a budget. Of course my shopping budget was generous, but at least I knew it from the start, so as long as I kept to it each month, I could at least justify my spending habits. And sure, I believed in the occasional splurge that warranted a big dent in my credit: a new quality timepiece (after the old workhorse wore out) that I could pass on to my children, a fabulous well-constructed coat that transcended the seasons, a timeless leather bag that brought together my entire wardrobe and resisted trends, or new furniture for the rec room that we could use for at least a decade. Those are all good investments, no one can argue.

The problem was, one couldn't go and make too many "investments" all at once, could one? Once a year, maybe, and only if I paid off the full damage before the next big "investment."

Another thought entered my mind: what was motivating me to suddenly start "investing" in so many material goods? Was it the recession psychology that prompted me to put my money into things that I could see and touch rather than frittering my money on on goods or activities that didn't? Perhaps it was a sudden paralysis about investing in the uncertain or intangible, like real estate or stocks. If anything, the fear of an economic downturn should prompt me to stop spending, not spend more. And yet, restless anxiety was combining with some animalistic urge to overpower my logic and constantly erase memories of previous purchases, forcing me to think that I needed more stuff. It was like a medicine that my old boss's dog used to take that made him think he was always hungry even though he had just eaten.

Besides, a rather high number of purchases of the past year could hardly be considered "investments" at all. Endless cashmere sweaters, bought just because I loved the colors. Beautiful coats in all shapes and colors, because we show so much of our exterior to the public. Pair after pair of lovely heels, because a girl can never have too many shoes. And now, bauble after pretty bauble that really added flair to the aforementioned coats and sweaters, especially at such bargains. Even my jean collection had exploded after having suffered too long from ill-fitting styles and constantly shrinking pairs.

And was it good? Of course, it was all very good! I could now go an entire month without taking my clothes to the cleaners. I had so many amazing outfits for every possible occasion, there were literally not enough occasions. I felt glamorous and stylish almost no matter what I did or where I went. So yes, mission accomplished!

But then, the act of shopping began to take precedence over the fruits of my shopping labor. I wanted, needed, breathed shopping each day. I couldn't get enough of it. I sought it in online buys. I sought it in store purchases. I read about it when I wasn't doing it. I talked about it after I did it. Shopping had become much more than an enjoyment -- a wildly exciting hobby that I happened to be good at. No, shopping had become my primary occupation, something I felt that I needed to accomplish every day. The dishes could wait. Dinner could come in another hour. My work could resume after lunch. I needed to shop now!!!

That, my friends, started my descent into belly of the shopping underworld, along with the the lying, hiding, and sheer desperation that drove me daily. It was world that knew no end to the aching shopping hunger. A world where all my sound logic (or my husband's desperate warnings) couldn't compete against the power of a new purchase. Yes, even a world where I lied to the people I loved about where I'd been, what I'd been doing, and how much I'd spent.

Suddenly, it wasn't enough for me to shop a few times a month. It became a weekly activity. But soon enough, even a week wasn't enough time to wait between purchases. Twelve hours wouldn't go by without a sufficient examination of the day's deals, new arrivals, and hot-off-the-press coupons.

And that's when the cold, hard truth hit me, not unlike the sting of icy water on your face on a dark winter morning when you realize that the hot water heater went out: I think I may actually be addicted to shopping! Not addicted in the fun, carefree, social way, like when you and your friends just love to get together and shop. But addicted in the unpleasant, chemically-dependent way, like when you only shop alone because you don't want any social interaction getting in the way of your fix. Nor do you want others to know how much you actually shop.

Wikipedia states that "The term "addiction" is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence." It can also be "used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual's health, mental state or social life."

But how does one know if they really have an addiction or just really just love to shop?The Recovery Group offers some valuable insight:

"Compulsive shopping and spending are defined as inappropriate, excessive, and out of control," says Donald Black, MD, professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine. "Like other addictions, it basically has to do with impulsiveness and lack of control over one's impulses. In America, shopping is embedded in our culture; so often, the impulsiveness comes out as excessive shopping." Sometimes referred to as "shopoholism," shopping addiction can wreak havoc on a person's life, family, and finances...

While the origin of addictions remains uncertain, why addicts continue their destructive behaviors is better understood.

"Individuals will get some kind of high from an addictive behavior like shopping," says Engs. "Meaning that endorphins and dopamine, naturally occurring opiate receptor sites in the brain, get switched on, and the person feels good, and if it feels good they are more likely to do it -- it's reinforced."

So what are the telltale signs that shopping has crossed the line and become an addiction?

"There are certainly a lot of commonalities among shopoholics and other addicts," says Engs. "For instance, while alcoholics will hide their bottles, shopoholics will hide their purchases."
What else should a concerned family member or friend look out for when they think shopping has become a problem?

SPENDING OVER BUDGET: "Often times a person will spend over their budget and get into deep financial trouble, spending well above their income," says Engs. "The normal person will say, 'Oops, I can't afford to buy this or that.' But not someone who has an addiction," explains Engs -- he or she will not recognize the boundaries of a budget.

COMPULSIVE BUYING: "When a person with a shopping addiction goes shopping, they often compulsively buy, meaning they go for one pair of shoes and come out with 10."

ITS A CHRONIC PROBLEM: "A shopping addiction is a continuous problem," says Engs. "It's more than two or three months of the year, and more than a once-a-year Christmas spree."

HIDING THE PROBLEM: "Shopoholics will hide their purchases because they don't want their significant other to know they bought it because they'll be criticized," says Engs. "They may have secret credit card accounts, too. Because this problem affects mostly women, as alcoholism affects mostly men, husbands will all of sudden be told their wife is $20,000-$30,000 in debt and they are responsible, and many times, this comes out in divorce."

A VICIOUS CIRCLE "Some people will take their purchases back because they feel guilty," says Engs. "That guilt can trigger another shopping spree, so it's a vicious circle." And in these people, debt may not be an issue because they're consistently returning clothes out of guilt -- but a problem still exists.

IMPAIRED RELATIONSHIPS: . "It is not uncommon for us to see impairments in relationships from excessive spending or shopping," says Rick Zehr, vice president of addiction and behavioral services at Proctor Hospital at the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery. "Impairment can occur because the person spends time away from home to shop, covers up debt with deception, and emotionally and physically starts to isolate themselves from others as they become preoccupied with their behavior."

CLEAR CONSEQUENCES: "It's just like any other addiction -- it has nothing to do with how much a person shops or spends, and everything to do with consequences," says Zehr. "We often get the question around the holidays that because a person spent more money than she intended, does this make her an addict? The answer is no. However, if there is a pattern or a trend or consequences that occur with excessive shopping then the person may be a problem spender -- the hallmark is still loss of control. If they are no longer in control of their shopping but their shopping is in control of them, they've crossed the line."

Um, check, check, check, double check, check... It's not looking good for me so far...

According to Zehr, these behaviors can also signal a serious problem:

- Shopping or spending money as a result of feeling angry, depressed, anxious, or lonely
- Having arguments with others about one's shopping habits
- Feeling lost without credit cards -- actually going into withdrawal without them
- Buying items on credit, rather than with cash
- Describing a rush or a feeling of euphoria with spending
- Feeling guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed after a spending spree
- Lying about how much money was spent. For instance, owning up to buying something, but lying about how much it actually cost.
- Thinking obsessively about money
- Spending a lot of time juggling accounts or bills to accommodate spending

"If someone identifies four or more of any of these behaviors, there may be a problem," Zehr explains to WebMD.

Looks like I've got a clear-cut case of the shopaholic blues. I was definitely in trouble! I answered an emphatic "yes" to most of the above questions. Now I was starting to understand a little bit about the psychology of addiction. But what about the physiological effects?

Scientists say the reason we overeat is because our brain recognizes that we're full long after our stomachs. There can be a 20-minute gap between the time we finally feel satiated and the time we are physically full. The "happy" chemicals only kick in after it's too late. This results in a whole lot of unintentional shoveling of food into our mouths, which ultimately results in either an overfilled gut or an incessant guilt over not being able to drop those extra 5-10 pounds. Naturally, the generous portions at many restaurants do nothing to prevent an epidemic of overeating. Add to that the mental need to clean off our plates -- even plates that are purposely oversized -- and you're fighting an uphill battle. That's why nutritionists recommend chewing each morsel of food slowly, to both digest better and to really savor the taste of each bite.

The same with shopping. When you don't shop much, every little thing you buy and each little act of shopping pleases you enormously. When I used to shop a few times a month, I derived a good deal of delicious pleasure from the act. I knew it was a my well-deserved treat that I had budgeted for, and I treated it accordingly.

But I found that the more I shopped, the less time that supreme feeling of joy seemed to linger. At first, the endorphis surge through your body and you're dancing on air from the rush of excitement over scoring that fabulous find. Following the royal treatment you receive from your favorite store as you're paraded to the door by a bevvy of associates carrying your shopping bags, you feel like a queen as you transport your new gems from your car into your eagerly awaiting closet. The anticipation of wearing your new purchases as soon as possible combined with the sense of accomplishment over finally having found the perfect piece... these feelings make you feel like million bucks.

Inevitably though, like a caffiene-stimulated high, you find yourself crashing hard. The sweater that just joined your collection last week is already mixed in with your older, less exciting sweaters -- sweaters that once screamed "Wear me!" and made you giddy with happiness. You wonder if maybe you shouldn't have bought a new jacket to go with the new pencil skirt that still sits untested from 4 weeks ago. You're itching to hunt down that to-die-for pair of tall boots that you could have sworn you saw at Nordstrom... or was it Lord & Taylor? Suddenly, you're hit with the insatiable craving to shop. The only cure is another fix. And so the cycle repteats. Day after day, week after week, month after month.

Apparently, I'm not alone. Scientific evidence suggests that shopping begets more shopping. Get Rich Slowly points to marketing research done by Uzma Khan of Stanford, Ravi Dhar of Yale, and Joel Huber of Duke University, which measured consumers' shopping behavior:

"Setting up a series of tests of purchasing behavior, they found that for most people buying that fateful first — and often innocent — item seems to open the purchasing floodgates... These researchers indicate that shopping is a two-stage process.

First, a consumer deliberates over the need to purchase an initial item, weighing the pros and cons. Once this initial “deliberation phase” has ended — once a consumer has decided to buy one thing — the consumer deliberates less about subsequent items.

Essentially, once a person decides to buy one thing, this creates “shopping momentum”, increasing the likelihood that he will buy additional items. If you pick up an impulse item (like a magazine or candy bar) as you enter a store, this can serve as a trigger to encourage you to buy more."

Granted, there can occasionally be too much of a good thing. I'm not talking about the economics of shopping, either. I'm talking about the physical act of going out to stores for long periods of time, looking at tons of stuff, and actually experiencing an over-saturation of the activity. You know, that that exhausted, worn-out feeling, the telltale "shop till you drop" syndrome. The fatigue can be physical from just being pooped, or, it can be mental from having taken in way too much visual imagery during your shopping adventures. That's when you just want to pop in for a pampering pedicure, a cool drink, and a hearty meal.

There is even such a thing as being overwhelmed by too much online shopping. You know, when you've had about 12 windows open in your browser for days, spent hours hunting for that perfect item, comparing prices, and finally, trying to make a decision. There is a certain feeling of peace after you've finally chosen THE ONE, like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. All of a sudden, you want nothing more than to close all the windows in your browser, kiss your significant other, play with your pet, and catch up on some non-materialistic reading.

I used to say to my husband after one of these episodes, "That's it. I'm all shopped out!" To which he would reply, "Don't lie, now." But I would assure him, "Really, that's it. I don't need anything else. I've found the perfect (fill in the blank)." And he would just sort of smirk, roll his eyes, and wait. For a week, two weeks, as long (or short) as it would take for me to decide that there was "just one more thing" that I needed. But after one of those episodes, I would make an earnest effort to avoid all manner of behavior that could lead me to shopping. Moreover, I genuinely wanted a break from the act. My body was tired. My mind was overwhelmed. I wanted to finally spend quality time with my family after being absent for so many lost hours, days, and weeks.

But like all addictive behavior, it's only a matter of time before the urge strikes again. No sooner had I picked up my car from the service shop the Friday evening before last -- after paying a hefty (and unexpected) $1,000 repair bill -- when, the next day, I embarked on the most awesome whirlwind of a bargain shopping tour in months. I finally hit the outlets with the full force of my recently paid-down credits cards (after which I had patted myself on the back and sent myself out for a "treat"). No longer able to resist the siren call of ridiculously cheap Coach, Kate Spade, Cole Haan, Burberry, and J.Crew goods, I sped out on the highway, barely avoiding several speed traps and not a few number of road hazards.

Coming home with several bags bursting with unbelievable bargains, you can imagine my raging endorphins and sheer exuberance over my incredible finds. I began to plot the ideal occasion at which to debut all my newest additions. I felt ecstatic about how inexpensive everything was. Surely I could justify all these purchases even in a stagnating economy. Heck, I was so good, I even picked up a brand new Coach wallet for my beloved -- a present I had been promising for a year but never came through with.

They say that recognizing you have a problem is the first step toward a cure. My first major sign was a big clue: not a full 8 hours after my massive spree, I shuddered in horror at the thought that I "forgot" I also needed to buy something else. After all the overstuffed shopping bags I had carried, the hours of tiresome walking outside, the 2 hours of driving, and all the lines I had stood in, not to mention all newly done damage to my poor credits cards -- I already felt the need to buy more! With all the willpower I could muster, I barely managed to fight down that urge.

But then I was filled with guilt. Had I not just spent several hours far from home, away from my family, against the wishes of my loving husband who kept calling me to come home so we could actually hang out on a Saturday night? Not to mention the huge chunk of change that had so easily slid away when I had slid my credit card through repeatedly without so much as an afterthought?

Then the shame kicked in. What on earth could I possibly do with 4 new purses when I already didn't use (or find room) for the other purses in my closet? And how could I have considered it a good bargain to spend $140 on a few small trinkets at the J.Crew outlet that I didn't even need, when I had been holding off on spending $100 on work clothes that I actually needed? Even worse, how could I keep looking my husband in the eye and telling him that we couldn't afford a new computer or TV right now when I had just bought the equivalent of both in the last 3 months alone?

Finally, I felt depressed. What was wrong with me that I couldn't shut off the switch in my brain that told it was time to shop? I was perfectly capable of making sound financial decisions in other aspects of my life. My job required me to help other people make important financial decisions . I should be more than capable of controlling my obsessive urges. I felt even worse because my religious guilt kicked in the next day as I found myself unable to face God at church. Were people not starving and going without clothes and shoes all over the world? How could I justify buying more and more and more while my fellow brothers and sisters suffered?

This time, I vowed to do something about my destructive behavior. Looking to the approaching period of Lent circled prominently on my desk calendar, I decided to do what I've often promised but never actually succeeded in doing: I would give up shopping for Lent. Placing my "shopping fast" in the hands of the divine, I felt a wave of solace wash over me as I solemnly swore an oath to not shop for 40 days.

What follows is a personal saga that chronicles my 40 days of non-shopping. Read my next post for a day-to-day account of my trials and tribulations on the road to recovery.

My J.Crew Spring Wish List: Rewards for Non-Shopping

2009-03-15T13:49:00.031-04:00

Like many of you, I took the plunge a few weeks ago and gave up shopping -- temporarily, of course! My excuse was Lent, or to be perfectly honest, a severe case of a pre-Lenten guilty conscience at having gone completely off the deep end with purchases for about 4 months straight. And while I haven't been as good as I had hoped -- more to follow on that topic! -- I have so far survived 2 good J.Crew discounts, endless coupons, incredible sales, and several persuasive friends/sales associates. Well, let me be honest again: I haven't survived them all, having fallen off the wagon twice already. But the point is, I'm getting right back on as of today, with the steadfast determination to not shop for another 2 weeks. Because, while the temptations are great, the rewards are even greater.

What rewards, you may ask? The rewards of getting to go on a guilt-free shopping spree at the end of the month with my fellow J.Crew Aficionadas! And not just any shopping spree, but scooping up all the pretty new summer goodies before anyone else while enjoying refreshments and being waited on hand and foot and by the fantastic J.Crew Pentagon City Associates. Plus, I'll get to finally bring home all those beautiful spring items that have sat and waited so patiently in my online shopping cart (all sad and lonely, poor little things).

So, to rev myself up for the final 2 weeks of my shopping fast, I'm going to post my wish list and stare at it until the big day arrives. Here's to 2 more weeks of daydreaming... *sigh*

Frenchie Slicker in Papaya

Pique V-neck Ruffle Dress in Tea Rose

Cotton Bow Dress in Bright Papaya

Stretch Sateen Pencil Skirt in Navy

Deco Dot Cardigans in Pewter and Soft Seashell

Canvas Atelier Jacket in Navy

Silk Chiffon Juliet Dress in Clover

Silk Tricotine Robin Short Dress in Tea Rose

Slub Silk Penelope Dress in Slate

Jackie Cardigan in Dark Aquamarine

Cashmere Shrunken Shawl Collar Cardigan in Tea Rose

Jeweled Coronation Cuff Bracelet in Natural

Georgi High Heels with Tassels in Fresh Guava

Cotton-Cashmere Waterfall Ruffle Cardigan in Tea Rose

Remember your rewards and hang in there, girls. May the force be with all of you!

Update:
Fell off the wagon again! I'm a terrible, terrible person. No rewards for me now except maybe in hell!:)

Photos for Polyvore

2009-03-05T17:38:00.068-05:00

Calling All Washington, D.C. Area J.Crew Aficionadas... Let's Do Brunch & Private Shopping!

2009-03-02T11:29:00.040-05:00

You are invited to the J.Crew Aficionada Sunday Brunch on Sunday, March 29! If you missed our first big extravaganza -- the fabulous February movie night organized by the elegant Cleo26 -- this is your chance to meet and mingle with fellow D.C. area Aficionadas. For those of us who attended the last outing, let's bring the house down again!

Please leave me a comment and provide your email address so I can add you to the evite. Or, send me a private message on my Polyvore page.

The dress code will be (of course) J.Crew. At Slastena's suggestion, the theme will be Frilly Frocks. So don your girly garb, dab on your perfume, and join us for a brunch on the town!

And, get this: we've been invited by the J.Crew store in Pentagon City to a private wardrobing session! A J.Crew personal shopper has kindly offered to help us re-vamp our spring/summer wardrobe. She said to "Bring in clothes you are planning to wear this coming spring and summer and try them on with the clothes in the store. This would give you the opportunity to see which pieces incorporate best with your existing wardrobes... Our next collection comes out the last week of March (and should have more of the saturated colors everyone is anxious for)."

This is your chance to be a J.Crew VIP for a day and enjoy a divine brunch with some of D.C.'s best dressed girls, so don't miss it! Mark your calendar now for Sunday, March 29.

By the way -- male Aficionados are also welcome! Just wear a J.Crew ensemble.

I hope you can join us!

Update:
The Arlington-Pentagon City J.Crew store is excited to host the D.C. Aficionadas for a private wardrobing session on Sunday, March 29! The store will open early just for *us* so we can check out the season's newest arrivals - before anyone else. The J.Crew store associates and personal shopper will assist us in mixing the old with the new to help get us ready for the most stylish spring and summer ever! Light refreshments will be served. FYI - the store's manager has requested that we don't take photos inside the store. However, we are welcome to snap away in front of the store's entrance. We'll be sure to get some great group shots showing all our amazing purchases after we're done.

Here are the private shopping session details:

Event: Private Wardrobing Session
Date: Sunday, March 29
Time: 10:00 AM
Location: J.Crew, Pentagon City
1100 S. Hayes Street
Arlington, VA 22202

Nothing works up an appetite like great shopping! The private wardrobing session will be followed by brunch in the private dining room of the tasty Boulevard Woodgrill in Clarendon.

Here are the brunch details:

Event: D.C. Aficionada Sunday Brunch
Date: Sunday, March 29
Time: 1:00 PM
Location: The Boulevard Woodgrill, Clarendon
2901 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia 22201

Hopefully, you can join us for both events. But even if you can only come to one, we'd still love to see you!

Please RSVP on evite so I know how many people will attend brunch. If you have not yet received an evite, please leave me a comment in this post or send me a private Polyvore message.

I look forward to a fabulous day of shopping and brunch with you!